Slow progress

September 2020

The highlight of the year so far has been a visit from Lola II and Mr M, bringing not just themselves but gifts - home grown edible nasturtiums from Mr M, Lola II cooked delicious vegan gyoza dumplings, and the fun and games that come with any visit from those two. I had planned Sunday lunch at a pub that is a significant walk away, which turned out to be a bit too significant because I broke both Lola II and Mr M and we had to stop on the walk back a bit earlier than expected for coffee and cake.

Apart from that they survived the privations of my cold house (luckily the weather was still very warm) and the shower situation, which seems to be scheduled to continue until the end of time. The Flfs returned, and Flf 1 was Not Happy about the state of the wall, even though the damp man had guaranteed that it would be OK. They put in the floor tray and did the first stage of the floor levelling, and will come back next week to level some more and put the board over the wall that Flf 1 is Not Happy about. This is all taking an age because the tiler can't come until the end of October and there will be more finishing off to do after that.

And my Lady Gardener has left me - she said she was sorry but her other responsibilities mean she has to give up some of the gardening. I am going to have to 'prune' the wisteria myself - I might just take it down to waist height and see if it survives. In fact I'd be perfectly happy to do that to every shrub out there if it wasn't so much work.

On the positive side (at least I hope it's positive) the pub next door is about to open up again. The beer garden gradually filled with junk, and then all the junk went and tables appeared, and there have been signs in the window saying 'opening soon' for ages, and then I discovered via Facebook that it's tonight (Friday). So I am obliged to show my face although I really don't want a drink because I am starting a week's Buddhist retreat tonight.

Buddhist retreats used to be where you got away from it all to some remote place without a phone signal or wifi and concentrated on other things for a while. The program was always fairly minimal - meditation before breakfast, a short morning session, a short afternoon session and sometimes an hour in the evening, sometimes not, and in between you could sit, walk, read, ponder, all in wonderful peace and quiet.

Now the sessions are online and I'm at home in between sessions, so I'm going to have to find some way of recreating the feeling of 'away from it all' despite not having taken time off work and having a few other necessary responsibilities. So I'm only going to check essential email once a day, phone messages and texts twice a day, and on the computer only for working. At least I'll be at home for the plumbers.

Damp men

Dlf 4, August 2020

It seems I've done quite a lot of stuff since the last update - been on a train, borrowed a library book, met the new pub landlord (or tenant), spent time with Buddhists on Zoom, spent time with family and friends in real life... and a whole lot more LTRP activities.

The train experience was not too bad, except that about half the people on each train were not wearing masks - at one point I moved away from a particularly rowdy group. Borrowing the library book involved browsing the catalog online, choosing the book and then being telephoned by someone from the library to arrange a time for collection, when it was there waiting for me. The pub landlord, or possibly tenant, seemed like a nice chap and was happy to talk but there has been no visible activity since we spoke, so the pub remains closed.

I drove over to see mum and dad and set up a computer for dad to use, and then drove on to Cambridge with Lola II and Mr M and we camped in the garden of our friends. The weather was very wet and windy on the first night - my tent was fine but Lola II and Mr M's tent is poorly designed and some water got in, making the night a little uncomfortable. The second night was better. We did a lot of walking and had lunch outside a pub and played board games and watched a film, and it was nice to see friends again even if we had to bend the rules with four households sitting indoors.

The LTRP is not going all that well. The front door replacement was fine though, and I now have a doorbell again, a fancy door number attached to the wall, a chain, and a spyhole at a height that allows me to look through it without having to jump. They also replaced a broken hinge on a different window, and were generally a delight to work with.

Less delightful has been the water-based activity. Dlf 4 applied the damp-proof membrane to the inside of the walls and then came and rendered on top of it, which produced a powerful and obnoxious smell in the porch for days. He was back a week later to skim the final plaster surface, and then Dlf 5 was the last damp man to turn up to replace the skirting on the newly plastered and skimmed wall in the porch.

The plumbers are having a more difficult time, what with the lack of any straight edges or right angles, and accidentally running into a gas pipe, and getting some decorative tiles that are not the ones I asked for, and having to find a different electrician when the first one disappeared on holiday. Then they peeled back a little of the damp-proof membrane in the wet room and found that the bricks behind it are saturated - not just the sort of damp that you suspect so you check using a damp meter, more the sort of damp that fish enjoy. So the Flfs aren't happy applying plasterboard over the top of it, and so far the damp men have not called me back to arrange to come and take a look, and Flf 1 has had to put off the tiler twice so far, and I am still showering in the bath.

A bevy of tradespeople

Sidekick and Doors and Windows Ulf hard at work

You wait for ages for quotes and availability, and then they all turn up on the same morning.

To be fair, my Lady Gardener's date was well established, and she's no trouble at all. She generates a few bags of green waste in a couple of hours, and this time I'd booked a slot at the tip the following day so I could get rid of it straight away, as well as a few other things I'm getting rid of. (I'm still trying to empty all unnecessary stuff out of the house, and took a big bag of books to the Oxfam book shop, but neglected to phone ahead as I should have. Thankfully they took the bag anyway, because it was pretty heavy and I wouldn't have fancied taking it home again.)

The others to arrive at the same time were Doors and Windows Ulf and Sidekick to replace the front door, and Damp Man Dlf 3 to treat the walls in the wet room and the porch. I'd put the order in for the front door a week before lockdown, and then manufacture immediately stopped in the place abroad where the doors are made. When the door was finally available we struggled to find a suitable date when I would be at home. The damp treatment was needed before work could continue in the wet room and it was just one of those things that the date we arranged clashed with the work on the front door.

Dlf 1 was the damp estimator who lives round the corner, Dlf 2 was the damp man I called to make the arrangements for the work to be done, and he sent damp man Dlf 3 to do the first stage of the work, which is to remove plaster up to 1 metre from the floor and then inject some sort of gel into drilled holes along a mortar line just above floor level. Except that the quote had stipulated that the wet room plumbers would remove the plaster in the wet room, and they hadn't removed quite enough of it, and Dlf 3 said if it wasn't in the quote he couldn't do it. I gave him some cash to do it, so he did it. The next stage is to add a membrane and then replace the plaster, and I checked with Dlf 2 who said that damp man Dlf 4 would be coming to do that part next week.

Meanwhile Doors and Windows Ulf and Sidekick were getting on with the front door, ripping out the old door and frame, fitting the glazed panel at the top, putting the new door in and adding architraves and generally making it nice. It's actually a very dark blue, although it looks black in the picture. They didn't do the final sealant because Dlf 3 was about to generate a whole load of dust which would stick to the lovely fresh sealant and make it look bad, and they have to come back anyway because they need to fit the spy hole. We agreed that it was a good thing the spy hole hadn't been factory fitted because it would definitely have been too high for me to look through. 

I have also ordered a new door number which they offered to fix to the wall for me as part of the job. The only thing that was forgotten was the doorbell, and the sound of knuckles rapping at the door can't be heard beyond the hall. Luckily I happened to be in the hall this morning when there was a parcel for me, which was a very lucky coincidence. If I do happen to have any visitors they will have to phone me for the time being.

I had stocked up with biscuits and even remembered to buy some instant coffee (so in a couple of years it will turn into a solid black mass and I'll throw it out like the last jar). D&W Ulf's Sidekick made good headway with the biscuits, though. I'll be taking any of those that are left over to work.

Dlf 3

The wet room

Flfs 2 and 1

This is turning out to be a classic example of the Lola Towers Renovation Project genre. You open the lid on a bit of house that hasn't been touched for 20 years or more, and the job turns into something a whole lot bigger than expected.

I had an inkling that all was not well in the corner of the house where the shower room is. My idea was to replace the shower and all the tiling on the walls and floor and create a wet room. When I estimated the job budget in order to find a contractor, the firm that got the job told me they expected it to be less than I'd suggested. At the end of the first day's work Flf admitted that I might have been nearer the mark.

Flfs 1 and 2 arrived in the morning to start ripping out the contents of the shower room, and in no time the toilet and sink were out in the hall and nothing remained of the shower enclosure. However, at the base of the wall the bricks had turned to sand. Wet sand. And when Flf had chipped off all the tiles and some of the render, there was quite a lot more brick missing.

Just the previous day I had arranged a visit from Dlf, a damp expert, who turned out to live in the next road. He had come up with a plan to treat another separate patch of damp on the same wall in the porch, so I phoned the company to see if he would be available to drop in and see this extra bit of work, which he did, and agreed to include it in the quote. Which was pretty enormous.

Flf 2 continued the work of destruction: the wall tiles disappeared, then the floor tiles too. When it came to ripping out the shower, Flf 1 conveyed the bad news that the electrical supply was wholly inadequate and a new cable would need to be run from the fuse box. He showed me where the current cable showed signs of heat damage, and didn't say what he was probably thinking about fire and electrocution. Meanwhile, the other Flf had been pondering the pattern of the damp and traced it back to a possible cause on the outside of the wall. There was discussion, sucking of teeth, poking of fingers into gaps between crumbling bricks, and a plan was devised for the following day, given that the main project is held up until the damp issue is addressed.

[While all this was going on, I had a Zoom call with Mr MXF to try and establish what I might be doing as part of the employment Revelation. There were many complex notions which I had to grapple with, and it was not helped by being called away two or three times to have a look at the latest finding in the ex-shower room. I got to grips with the task a little better in the evening, and although I understand only about a quarter of the work that Mr MXF has scoped out for me, I have a good feeling.]

Next day the electrician turned up to have a look at the electrical issues: extractor fan, shaver point and now the power to the shower itself, and he will bring back a quote for the extra not included in the original plan. The Flfs returned to work on the outside of the wall in the pub 'garden', where they are installing a gully and repairing a bit of render as well as chopping down a coping stone. I got in touch with the pub management company again to make sure they were aware that we would be on their territory for a few days, and made some not-so-subtle enquiries about the future of the pub. While the guy wouldn't tell me exactly what was going on, he did suggest that if current legal processes are completed satisfactorily, a new tenant would be opening up the pub for business by the end of August.

So the outside work continues, the damp treatment is scheduled, so is the electrical work and the shower refurbishment last of all. I'll be washing using the shower attachment in the bath for at least a month, but as with everything involving the LTRP, it will be worth it in the end.