Tier 3 lockdown shower

Munich, December 2019

The electrician came! And wired up the shower and the extractor fan, but couldn't hook the fan in with the light switch because of the tiling. If Flanders and Swann hadn't written their famous song I would have thought I'm the first to encounter this sort of difficulty. The electrician also told me a very interesting fact that Flf had neglected to mention: the cable to the shower was not incorrect and hadn't been replaced after all, because it was only powering the pump and not heating the water because the hot water comes from the tank upstairs.

There's no shower screen yet, but I had a careful shower and it was wonderful, but while the water is coming through OK, the knob that ought to adjust the power of the stream isn't working. Now all that needs to happen is for Flf to come back, sort out the power setting, the screen, the ceiling, the drains outside, and the tiling (which the electrician could probably have done himself but didn't) so that the electrician can come back and finish that bit of the job. But now that I can have a proper shower standing up he can take his time and finish up whenever he wants to be paid.

Doors & Windows Ulf came! With a sidekick, and we all climbed up to the roof of the kitchen, managed to avoid falling off despite the frost, and discovered that the leak is probably caused by moss prising apart plastic layers that oughtn't to be prised apart. So I'm going to need to get up there once or twice a year to scrape off the moss, which means I'm going to need some better ladders. But with luck, no more indoor rain.

I have done some more work for Mr MXF at last, and it is still as mind-stretching as before. But I can detect some progress in my understanding of how email works, and managed to send and receive email from an address using a domain that belongs to Mr MXF. If this makes no sense to you, and there's no reason why it should, then all I can say is that I have achieved something quite difficult and am rather pleased with myself.

It has definitely been a problem-solving week: the next problem to be solved is in connection with the bank switching service which failed to switch an account that I've been helping mum with. We think we may have tracked down the problem, but that is a long way from solving it. 

And the long confinement of Covid-19 continues, with Leamington in tier 3 lockdown, and nobody knowing exactly what that means, and the weather turning proper chilly. I keep myself pretty busy with the Buddhism (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday in the past week) and watching films and writing blogs and family Zoom meetings and cooking and cleaning and 'gardening'. 'Gardening' means chopping everything down to shoulder or waist level and leaving it all on the lawn until I can be bothered to cut it up small enough to pack into sacks and take to the tip. Running has had to stop for the moment because my knee has started to complain.

Working at the hospital has been a bit hectic as I have been allocated a student for two weeks in succession during all-day busy clinics. I have also been given some 'instant' Covid testing kits that work a bit like pregnancy tests but with nasal swabs, but I haven't had the chance to try one out yet. Apparently a negative test can be accepted at face value, but after a positive outcome you have to go and get a proper test to confirm the result. I'll have a go next week.

Tantalising

Adhisthana, July 2019

Flf the plumber did offer to continue work on the wet room during the week that I was away helping Lola II, but I'm not comfortable with that, not because I don't trust him with my house but because I don't trust him with my wet room. He has a tendency (as I have noticed with most of the tradesmen) to make decisions on my behalf without properly consulting me. So far I have put things right, but who knows what I would come home to if I were not constantly popping my head round the door offering tea and checking on progress.

Then he stopped responding. I sent a text at the weekend, then left a voicemail message, then another text, and a little bit of me wondered if he'd decided to cut his losses and not come back. At last I did get a message, and he was there with another Flf on Thursday, and he was spectacularly grumpy. I ignored the scowl and cheerily engaged in chit-chat and offered the usual tea, and I could see in his face the competing desires for tea but also to turn me down because of how cross he was. He accepted in the end and relaxed a bit, and I discovered that he's had a bad back, and sympathised.

So together the two Flfs installed the new towel rail, and put back the sink with new taps and the toilet with new innards and put the shower up on the wall and connected it to the water supply, and left me tantalisingly close to being able to shower standing up for the first time since July. But not quite, because he'd forgotten to arrange for the electrician to be there.

So now I have to wait again for what I hope will be the last visit for all of the wet room bits to be completed. And in the meantime Lola Towers is continuing to have small tantrums when it rains particularly hard and lets water drip into the new kitchen. Ulf would rather I didn't get an independent person in so I have invited him to come and view the scene of the crime himself. We are both being very reasonable at the moment and I hope it stays that way. 

And to add to the stress of the LTRP there are the three bank accounts that I'm switching (with one more to come) - not all mine, but each is going to a different place and they all have different requirements for activating cards and online banking and mobile apps and how much has to be paid in per month to get the full benefits on offer. And Mr MXF has been tied up with other matters for a while but is now back, and I had another hour of mind-stretching conversation which has left me limp yet enthused. Until I tried to put into practice what we had discussed, and it was mighty difficult. So I'm off for a cup of tea and a sit down, and maybe have another look soon.

Water, water, everywhere

Riverhill Himalayan Gardens, September 2020

I've done another three days volunteering for Lola II's Community Mediation Skills course, and it's exhausting. Mostly for her, but a little bit for me too. I'd do it again - which surprised Lola II - but it's not difficult and they couldn't do it without a tech support person. And there were cakes for tea this afternoon.

For my usual work I've attended two online meetings, one talking about the language that we as health professionals use when talking to and about patients (clients? service users? people with diabetes?) and the other about delivering our structured education. The latter evoked the familiar feeling in me where I yearn to be part of an innovative and creative team instead of people who are 2 years from retirement and just want an easy life. One of them has been in contact with a confirmed Covid case and has to isolate at home for two weeks, and I made the mistake of suggesting that the others might have to make their lunch break shorter than the current 90 minutes. It didn't go down well.

So I came home again on Saturday night, and it was good to be back. However, the rain has been pretty heavy, and lo and behold, water has appeared inside the kitchen again.

I'm very tired of this. Doors and Windows Ulf came back twice and it seems unlikely that the leak is through the sealed unit. Son of Ulf has been back and sealed everything he could find to try and stop it last time. My suspicion is that the rain only appears inside in the wettest weather, but is still finding its way into the roof space at other times. I have written to Ulf about it, but he doesn't believe it has anything to do with him, or maybe it has been caused by the ladder on the roof when the gable was painted. He's willing to come back and seal things up again, but I don't think that will solve it - I feel that it's time to look inside the roof space to see where the water is coming from.

Water, water, everywhere. I spoke to the new manager of Pub Next Door about all the stuff they'd left leaning against my wall, and how this needs to stop, and how I will get access to the garden now that there's a padlock on the gate. He helped me move all the stuff away from the wall and gave me his phone number. Today I noticed that more stuff had been left leaning against my wall, so I sent him a text asking for it to be moved (or the combination for the padlock so I could move it myself). We'll see what happens.

A bevy of tradespeople

Sidekick and Doors and Windows Ulf hard at work

You wait for ages for quotes and availability, and then they all turn up on the same morning.

To be fair, my Lady Gardener's date was well established, and she's no trouble at all. She generates a few bags of green waste in a couple of hours, and this time I'd booked a slot at the tip the following day so I could get rid of it straight away, as well as a few other things I'm getting rid of. (I'm still trying to empty all unnecessary stuff out of the house, and took a big bag of books to the Oxfam book shop, but neglected to phone ahead as I should have. Thankfully they took the bag anyway, because it was pretty heavy and I wouldn't have fancied taking it home again.)

The others to arrive at the same time were Doors and Windows Ulf and Sidekick to replace the front door, and Damp Man Dlf 3 to treat the walls in the wet room and the porch. I'd put the order in for the front door a week before lockdown, and then manufacture immediately stopped in the place abroad where the doors are made. When the door was finally available we struggled to find a suitable date when I would be at home. The damp treatment was needed before work could continue in the wet room and it was just one of those things that the date we arranged clashed with the work on the front door.

Dlf 1 was the damp estimator who lives round the corner, Dlf 2 was the damp man I called to make the arrangements for the work to be done, and he sent damp man Dlf 3 to do the first stage of the work, which is to remove plaster up to 1 metre from the floor and then inject some sort of gel into drilled holes along a mortar line just above floor level. Except that the quote had stipulated that the wet room plumbers would remove the plaster in the wet room, and they hadn't removed quite enough of it, and Dlf 3 said if it wasn't in the quote he couldn't do it. I gave him some cash to do it, so he did it. The next stage is to add a membrane and then replace the plaster, and I checked with Dlf 2 who said that damp man Dlf 4 would be coming to do that part next week.

Meanwhile Doors and Windows Ulf and Sidekick were getting on with the front door, ripping out the old door and frame, fitting the glazed panel at the top, putting the new door in and adding architraves and generally making it nice. It's actually a very dark blue, although it looks black in the picture. They didn't do the final sealant because Dlf 3 was about to generate a whole load of dust which would stick to the lovely fresh sealant and make it look bad, and they have to come back anyway because they need to fit the spy hole. We agreed that it was a good thing the spy hole hadn't been factory fitted because it would definitely have been too high for me to look through. 

I have also ordered a new door number which they offered to fix to the wall for me as part of the job. The only thing that was forgotten was the doorbell, and the sound of knuckles rapping at the door can't be heard beyond the hall. Luckily I happened to be in the hall this morning when there was a parcel for me, which was a very lucky coincidence. If I do happen to have any visitors they will have to phone me for the time being.

I had stocked up with biscuits and even remembered to buy some instant coffee (so in a couple of years it will turn into a solid black mass and I'll throw it out like the last jar). D&W Ulf's Sidekick made good headway with the biscuits, though. I'll be taking any of those that are left over to work.

Dlf 3

Swollen and bruised

Munich, December 2019

The main thing that is preoccupying my thoughts is the stupid front door. Despite Ilf's attentions it swelled up again so I had a go at shaving some more off - there won't be much door left once it gets dry again. Having had enough of this game I gave Doors and Windows Ulf a call and he came round to talk about replacing it with one that a) won't swell b) won't need repainting c) will fit better and reduce drafts and d) will be more secure. So I know a bit more about different types of door than I did before (timber, uPVC and composite) but have still received no quote at the time of writing.

The same swelling problem has happened to the timber side gate, so the new Lady Gardener had a bit of trouble with that. Yes, I've got a new Lady Gardener! She spent two hours weeding and while she was working I finished the brick border and we talked about how she's not a teacher any more, and what I should do about my herbs. I think it will go well.

And the eighth Gulloebl Film Festival took place and was a success as ever, although I had a bit of a problem with some of the films on Saturday, which were Blades of Glory (not my kind of humour), The Apartment (a classic movie which is unfortunately so full of sexism, misogyny and let's call it 'an old-fashioned view of a woman's place in the workplace and relationships' with just a touch of racism at the end that I didn't enjoy it as much as I should if I had ignored all those things and just imagined myself back in 1960), and Sexy Beast (which made me so tense that my jaw ached). All the other films were lovely, though, with my favourite (aside from my all time favourite Marvellous) being The Sting.

On Wednesday I had a Ladies badminton match, and Thursday night was a match for the Mixed team, and before it even started while I was warming up I tripped and had an enormous comedy fall, bouncing off the wall and landing on my side. I was fine apart from a grazed knuckle and a huge bruise on my hip. I'm glad I'm still tough enough to bounce rather than break. And we won both matches, so I suppose it was worth it.

Water and mud

November 2019

Last week we endured lashing rain, which caused flooding in more unfortunate parts of the country. Here it only caused my Thursday badminton to be cancelled because the roads around the school were impassable. But on Wednesday it started to rain inside the kitchen again.

This has happened before. The dripping came from around the roof light, so when I phoned Ulf the builder the first time he sent Doors and Windows Ulf round, who couldn't find anything obvious but added some sealant. It happened a second time, and even though Doors and Windows Ulf came round again, he declared it wasn't his problem and it stopped raining so the dripping had stopped. At that time I hadn't worked out how to connect my hosepipe to the outside tap (don't ask) so I just left it. One can only worry about a certain number of things at a time.

This rainstorm was different. The dripping came from the edge of the roof light again, but this time the flow was faster and it was clear from staining on the ceiling that the roof light wasn't the problem. I contacted Ulf and he sent Son of Ulf and his mate to see what was going on. They arrived looking as though they had been swimming - they had been working outside - and finally agreed that the problem must be their responsibility. Those poor boys spent another hour on the roof. I offered them refuge inside and a hot drink, but they refused despite their teeth actually chattering as they spoke. They have added some more sealant - I must get up there and have a look some time - and I must also get back in touch to see where we go from here. Wait for another rainstorm, or play a hose on it and see what happens? (I have very recently worked out how to connect my hosepipe to the outside tap - still don't ask.)

Random Run Forest Runner

In other (slightly) weather-related news, I went along with Lola II and Mr M to support Run Forest Run, the 10k run + obstacle course event that is staged by our friends in Surrey. Highlights included the family friend (with the lovely photogenic dog pictured above) who I would like to adopt as my son (the friend not the dog - although I wouldn't rule out the option of the dog not the friend), Lola II being given a flashing yellow light to put on the top of her car (her life is now complete), and the returning runners who told me (as I supervised the kitchen activities producing hot drinks, cake and bacon butties) that it was the most fun event they had ever participated in.

Peace Festival and Work Stuff

Pump Room Gardens, May 2019

It's been a little more eventful of late, which at least gives me more to write about.

The Peace Festival

This is the annual event held in Leamington featuring all manner of stalls and food and musicians, this year including Warwick Triratna Buddhists. This was my idea - now that I am completely suppressing all my Great Ideas at work, they are popping out everywhere else. After suggesting that the group take a stall at the Festival and the committee thinking this wasn't a bad idea I randomly invited some friends to stay over at my house at the same time. Luckily we did manage to rustle up enough helpers on the stall to allow me time off, and I could still help out on the stall and chill with the friends and it all worked out all right.

My particular task in the lead up to the event was to create some leaflets that we could hand out with some information about the group and the dates of the next introductory courses. I managed it with days to spare, unlike the person whose particular task was to create some sort of signage for our stall. For the whole of Saturday we were anonymous, which combined with the occasional downpours led to a largely unsuccessful sign-up rate. Thankfully the same person who didn't manage the sign did manage to borrow a large awning, without which we would have been drenched and would probably have given up and gone home.

We persevered, and on Sunday a small blackboard was procured for a sign to identify ourselves, the weather was much better, and people actually started showing an interest. We'll see how that converts to attendees at the intro courses. We'll be reviewing the whole affair at our next meeting when we'll decide whether it was worth it and what we would do differently if there is a next time.

Work Stuff 1

I made an epic mistake when I bought tickets to attend a festival in July - the same one that I went to last year - because somehow I put the wrong dates in my diary. Looking back, the dates were clear on the website and in the email to confirm the booking and everywhere else, so I can't quite understand how I got it wrong. But I did, and that meant that I had constructed my work schedule around the wrong dates, including a meeting, a course and clinics, not to mention the summer concert on the Saturday.

The realisation hit me with that sinking feeling in my stomach followed by disbelief and panic: I had full clinics on days I would not be at work and I'd cleared my diary on days when I would now be available. And there was no way the course could be moved, although the meeting could. My options were to come clean, in which case hospital policy is that clinics cannot be cancelled with less than six weeks' notice. The alternative was to try and make the necessary arrangements clandestinely and hope not to get caught out. I did the right thing, and a week later we have moved the clinics and officially switched my annual leave, although I'll have to head to the campsite after the course rather than have that day free to prepare. And no summer concert for me.

Work Stuff 2

I have made an application for 'flexible working', meaning that I have asked to reduce my 27-hour nearly-four-day working week to a nearly-two-day working week. The application went in back in January, at which point the Team Leader whose job it is to take my application forward had to have an emergency operation which took her away from work for a while. No problem, with six months to go there ought to have been plenty of time to work things out. But she never did - she was always saying "I don't have all the answers" and refusing to sit down with me and my team to work out how to take things forward. Then, about a month ago, she announced that the work in the nearly-two days I was giving up would be picked up by two different people, one of them being herself.

This was not an acceptable proposal and my team rightly protested, but again with the dragging her feet and not agreeing to a meeting. Eventually, when she happened to drop in to the department, I pretty much marched her round to one of my team so that they could highlight the problem.

There followed more procrastination, and then a suggestion of a meeting with her manager, and then with just six weeks to go the Team Leader announces to me that she's leaving altogether. All the delay and obfuscation was down to the fact that a) she wanted the extra hours for herself, while simultaneously b) she was applying for this other job. So we've got our aim of the whole job being done by just two people, but are left with much less time to prepare, and the manager above has now declined the meeting.

I could go on. It's really frustrating. There's lots more I could say, but it's not very interesting and leaves me feeling very negative. All I will say is that this is one of the reasons that I have determined to stop having ideas at work.

Quick LTRP update

Ilf has popped up a month earlier than he first suggested and has made a start on all the preparation for painting now that the plastering is done. There are holes and rough surfaces and plaster splatter all over the place - I got rid of a lot of it but not all. And more than a month after I told him about the blown LED light unit, Ulf has come and had a look, whistled through his teeth and gone away again. I discovered that the main cause for the delay was that his electrician has gone AWOL and nobody knows where he is. He has a new electrician, but I received a message this morning that it is slightly more complicated by the fact that the particular unit I have is no longer available, but we need something that will match the other lights. One thing I have learned through the whole span of the LTRP is that it always takes longer than you think, even when you are actually in no hurry.

Recent events

Amazonia, April 2019

Lola II and Mr M have visited Lola Towers for the purpose of setting up the Gulloebl Film Festival (Leamington). This is very exciting and I have now chosen the films and started writing down all the things I need to organise, from Friday's canapes to compiling parking information. Mr M is still working on the spreadsheets and our new online booking site is nearly ready to go live.

In badminton news, both my badminton clubs have held their AGMs. My Monday club's AGM was in the pub for an hour after the end of the Monday badminton session, and my Thursday club's was in a Rugby club and also involved a competitive skittles tournament and fish and chips.

I am 'Social Secretary' for my lovely Monday club, which just means that I organise activities and social events whenever I feel like it. My 'report' at the AGM consisted of a Post-It note with the dates of all the events I could remember from the last 12 months. We have a very efficient Secretary who added the rest of the detail. They have asked me for the same social programme again this year which leaves me with a dilemma - everyone enjoyed the Disc Golf but me, so should I organise it but not attend myself, or just pick something else?

The badminton side of things is not going very well for this club - we only have seven permanent paying members, some more who 'pay and play', and our funds are seriously depleted to the point that the viability of the club is at risk. Having said that, the men's team won their Division in the League and will be promoted. We don't have enough players for any other teams and barely enough for the men's.

My Thursday badminton club is doing much better than my Monday club, with a healthy membership and about six teams in various leagues. Last year we had an informal agreement that if one of the other ladies captained the 1st Mixed team last year, I would take it over this year. It really is about time I put something back into this club and it isn't a very difficult or time-consuming job, especially as we have six fairly committed players and quite a few who will stand in if needed.

Buddhism news: apart from the regular Tuesday Buddhist group locally, I've been going to quite a lot of Thursday sessions in Birmingham. This is partly because I enjoy it but it's also strategic - my local group is going to have a stall at next month's Peace Festival in Leamington and I want to try and make sure we are supported, which I am hoping will be easier if I am a known face.

Then there's work. Work is challenging, mostly in a good way, but sometimes not. I have been trying to get my Team Leader to have a conversation with the DSNs I work with since January and she has steadfastly avoided this until very recently. There was a full and frank exchange of views and maybe her future plans may reflect this. I can say no more at the moment.

I have also been up to visit H+B and brought back some more of H's writings. I have offered to create a basic blog for him but he has to decide whether this would count as 'publishing' because if he should decide to try and get some material published, they often require it not to have been published elsewhere. I will await his decision.

Lastly, the LTRP continues, as it will probably continue until the end of time. One of the electric lights in my 'new' kitchen has failed, and as these lights consist of expensive sealed units that have to be replaced as a whole and which I was assured 'never fail' I contacted Ulf to ask for a replacement under guarantee. This led to a confusing series of messages because my communication that 'one of the kitchen lights has blown' was interpreted as meaning one of the glazed roof light sealed units. I am still waiting for a date when the light will be replaced. Apart from that, I have now cleaned up most of the plaster dust and re-polished the living room floor, making the room habitable again but potentially lethal to walk about in socks.

Getting wired and plastered

Son of Ulf and Sidekick, May 2019

There's been some satisfying progress with the Lola Towers Renovation Project. The last remaining large indoor job within Phase 1 is to strip, plaster and paint the walls and ceiling of the main living room, stairs and upstairs landing.

Ilf removed all the wallpaper a while ago. That was a major operation, and one that I don't think he relished - the wallpaper was old and the underlying plaster crumbly. Then I chased both the electrician and the plasterer for a while before pinning them down on dates.

Bill the Electrician came with his assistant plus a lad on work experience, dug out new sockets and put in wiring for a second overhead light and switch, but left me with only one usable light and one socket in the room. He told me that the plasterer would find it much easier this way, and he'd come back afterwards and finish it all off.

My chosen plasterer was Son of Ulf, who previously did a beautiful job on the plastering for the kitchen and picks up extra work at weekends and in the evenings while working with Ulf in his day job. He has a Sidekick who is even younger than he is. They ate a whole packet of biscuits in about 15 minutes on the first day, and they made a terrible mess of my parquet floor downstairs. I supervised quite closely on the protection for the new carpet in the upstairs hall.

Electric Bill took his time for the return visit, leaving me with the single light and one socket in the room for a week or two - not that I wanted to use the room until I'd at least cleaned up the floor. When they returned they found that Sons of Ulf had completely plastered over one of the new sockets and they had to dig it out again with much complaining.

Ilf has come round to view the work with approval and, I think, a hint of envy. I have spent much of my spare time in the time since the job was finished in cleaning the dust and plaster residue from every surface in the entire house. It is a time-consuming and filthy job. I have contracted out most of the time-consuming and filthy jobs within the scope of the LTRP, but cleaning is one thing that I feel I ought to do myself. This may be because I don't (yet) employ a cleaner.

Ilf is busy for several months and gave me a date quite a long way into the future for the painting. I commented that I could probably make a start on the undercoat myself, and while he gave me a couple of tips I could sense that he doubted my competence for this task. Given that I'm having trouble finding time to simply clean the mess made by the plastering, I'm not sure he need worry about me making much progress before he's able to come back.

[On an entirely separate note, I was browsing some old blog posts in nostalgic mood and was horrified to discover that the Brexit referendum took place before I'd even seen the architect, let alone started work on the new kitchen. Politics has been grim for so long that it's hard to remember a time before Brexit.]

Local news

La Plagne, March 2019

• The living room, stairs and upstairs hall walls have been stripped of their paper, and a little of their plaster too, especially the ceiling. The signs of a previous door out to the garden from the living room have been revealed, which is only very slightly interesting.
• Ulf has come to quote for the plaster skimming, and also to have a look at a couple of other issues with the kitchen build - a crack has appeared in the old brickwork adjacent to the new build, and there is a strange patch of what looks like moisture but isn't on an external wall or at ground level. A week later - not heard back from him yet.
• With the wall all stripped down, I realised that it would be the perfect opportunity to adjust the lights, switches and sockets in the room, so I got back in touch with Bill the electrician. No response for a week, then I followed up by phone, and still nothing definite.
• Olf lost the measurements he made a few weeks ago so had to come back again so he can quote for some outside work. A week later - still no quote.
• I have been inoculated or boosted against diphtheria, tetanus, polio, hepatitis A, typhoid and yellow fever. Not all at once. The yellow fever one was nasty - my arm still hurts nearly a week later and it cost £60, but I do get a nice certificate.
• The bandstand in the pump room gardens is back, after a considerable time (more than a year) being renovated. It's been repainted in strange pastel colours.
• My favourite shop in Leamington, Clarke's greengrocer, has now closed for good. There has been a longstanding pattern of my very favourite shops in town being closed - if this continues then Wofon will be next, or Kayal (but I go to Wofon much more than Kayal).
• I registered a complaint with Santander bank, which contacted me about a potentially fraudulent transaction but didn't make it clear that it wasn't on my account but one for which I have power of attorney. This caused no end of hassle both to me and to the account holder with frozen accounts, declined payments, a bounced cheque and a very extended visit to a branch. The final outcome is positive with compensation for both of us. They said they would take notice of my suggestions for how the system could be improved - all they would have to do would be make clear that I had been contacted as the attorney rather than the main account holder. Seems simple, but everything I have ever heard about how banks manage powers of attorney suggests that nothing will change. At least I won't make that mistake again.
• The molar that had been becoming increasingly troublesome forced me to the dentist in the face of the upcoming trip where dental issues would be highly inconvenient. After examination and X-ray the dentist came back wearing 'very sad face' (he's normally very jolly), to tell me that it was time for extraction. I told him to cheer up because at this point I couldn't be rid of it soon enough. He did a great job; it didn't hurt at the time or since, I completed my 3 days of regular salt water mouthwash (much worse than the extraction) and waited for it to heal a bit more so I could get stuck into all the chewy food I had given up on. I should have stocked up on trifle, but eggs, well-cooked pasta and soup sustained me very well. I ate a lovely crunchy apple yesterday!
• Films watched recently:
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - a poor title for a great movie with Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock and a very talented young actor, Thomas Horn.
• Whitney - after I'd watched this recent documentary I found a slightly older documentary on BBC iPlayer (Can I Be Me?) so I watched that as well. Tragic story of the rise and fall of such a talented woman.
• Three Identical Strangers - a fascinating documentary from Channel 4, some of it predictable I suppose, but each revelation on top of the previous one increased my outrage.
• Miss Sloane - a film recommended by Landrover Man, and it was very good. So complicated that I'd probably have to watch it again to make sure I picked up on all the twists, but I find that the sign of a good film.
• My printer is Not Very Well. It remains to be seen whether its condition is terminal, but I don't have the strength to tackle it just at the moment, and I'll have to use the work printer for critical things if necessary. However, Buddhists, badminton players, work colleagues, friends and family are all Alive as far as I'm aware.

First world problems

I do love poppies. Here's an orange and purple one.

We finally had some rain - thunderous, torrential rain - but very short lived. I was enjoying a brief respite from the oppressive heat in the new kitchen, where I spend much of my time these days, when the rain started - indoors, under the new roof light. A bucket was deployed, a text message sent to Ulf the builder, and the following day Doors and Windows Ulf attended in my absence and left me a written account of the issue. His view is that conditions were abnormal and the strong wind forced rain to travel upwards and under the cap; he has added some sealant or other such obstacle to prevent it happening again.

What I was doing when the indoor precipitation occurred was in relation to my television, which you may remember was purchased in April. Since then I had required support from the manufacturer, which runs a highly effective telephone support service, and which had repaired my TV remotely over the Internet three times - the third requiring me to install a software update from a USB stick that was sent through the post. Each of those three times the problem had been fixed, but I did query at what point would it be regarded as unacceptable for me to be phoning the helpline every time I wished to watch TV? I got no joy from the manufacturer - it was more than 28 days since the purchase, they wouldn't consider replacing it while they continued to fix it.

One Friday, however, I was watching a program on BBC iPlayer, and it just switched itself off and refused to turn on again. This time the support line couldn't help via remote control, but diagnosed a cable failure and proposed sending me a new cable through the post. At this point I got back in touch with the retailer, described my experience, and they acknowledged that it was time to offer me a replacement TV. Except that the TV I originally bought is no longer sold, so I would have to choose a comparable one. Off I went to the shop on Saturday morning, followed by more time on the website, and found that there was no comparable TV within the parameters that were set. I had another discussion with the retailer.

This left me with the option to take a lower specification television which cost the same as I paid, or a comparable specification television for £380 more, of which they would contribute £130. I did a bit of online scouting about, and found that I could get an ex-display model of the exact same TV as I had originally bought, for £200 less than I paid, but from an unfamiliar retailer. The only thing to do was to consult various people (step up Lola II, Mr M and the Decision Assistance Helpline - 'Your difficulties are our business') and also seek advice from the iPod of Fortune.

Need a decision handled with precision? Don't make a fuss, just call us! 

They all gave very good advice except IoF which seemed to have become confused with a different conversation we were simultaneously having about a trip to Israel (IoF's advice was 'Jerusalem').

On Thursday, then, I started by phoning the unfamiliar retailer to see if they really exist, answer the phone etc. Their website had a real location and phone number and I couldn't find any obvious scam opportunities, and although they only answer the phone betwen 11am and 4pm they confirmed the availability of the stock showing on their website. So I plucked up the courage to phone the original retailer again, who confirmed that they couldn't improve on their offer. We agreed on a refund. I went straight back to the unfamiliar retailer's website to order the TV I wanted, at which point I discovered a) although that morning there appeared to be four in stock none was now available, b) actually, all the televisions on their website had disappeared and b) they have a lunch break between 1 and 2pm when they also don't answer the phone.

This is where a spot of meditation can come in quite handy. Phoning back after 2pm I discovered that the website was being updated and the television section should be back tomorrow. The person on the phone couldn't tell me anything specifically about the availability of the item I was after. So I spent an uneasy evening trying not to think about it.

Next morning, as described, the website was back, televisions were still in stock, and... the price had been reduced by another £100! So I ordered one. And waited. And no email came, and at the weekend I tried to log into my account to see the progress of the order, and it didn't recognise my email address. One step forward, one step back. On Monday I phoned them again, and I had indeed made a stupid mistake with my email address, so we corrected that and we are now discussing delivery - they won't even guarantee a day, let alone a time.

I'm spending the difference in price on a washing machine. I've even ordered it at last. I'm hoping that this will be the end of my first world consumer issues for the time being.

BMI update - as predicted, the two weeks of holidays sent my weight drifting up a little bit (but nowhere near previous levels), and then I managed to get it going back in the right direction. Latest BMI is 23.9 kg/m². Back on track. I can't remember what dark chocolate tastes like any more. The next challenge will be to decide exactly how much to relax the regime, assuming I reach my target. At the moment I am certain that I will go back to semi-skimmed milk instead of skimmed, but no idea about anything else that I am currently denying myself.

The eleventh week

There's been a lot of non-LTRP activity which I can't be bothered to put in a separate post. For example, I have been to the optician and will be getting new varifocal glasses with stronger near vision assistance. Because of my complex lens prescription I am entitled to an NHS voucher of about £37 towards the cost, which sounds lovely until you find out that the total cost of the specs including free frames is close to £400. Until I needed the varifocals my prescription hadn't changed for many years, so the optician's cheerful comment that my current glasses had lasted for four years was not as well-received as it might be. Only four years!

Musical activity - Lola II, Mr M, Cousin Y and I went to sing karaoke and had a great time. One of the highlights (and there were many) was Lola II's discovery that alongside the traditional karaoke pop songs you could also get Bernard Cribbins' 'Right Said Fred' and Victoria Woods' 'The Ballad of Barry and Freda'. I also took part in the clarinet and saxophone ensembles' Christmas concert, which went very well. Then there were two Christmas dinners, one for work and the other for badminton club 2. Badminton club 1 had a tournament which I was partly responsible for organising, but the formula that had worked so well in previous years went a bit wrong so we kept having to re-write the rules as we went along. And I went to see comedian Tom Allen and the film Paddington 2, but not at the same time, and both were good.

So you'll probably want to know where we are with the LTRP. This week saw a first for Team Ulf - something did not go according to plan. Electrician Ulf was due to visit on Monday to connect the appliances and the last few lights, but I got home at the end of the day and things looked suspiciously similar to how I had left them at the beginning of the day. After some investigation it emerged that Electrician Ulf has a chest infection, but was still hoping to do the job towards the end of the week.

Tuesday brought a new team of two to lay the flooring, whom I am happily naming Blf 1 and Blf 2 now that I have run out of vowels. The Blfs arrived at an unspeakably early hour on my day off, prepared the surface, mixed up the levelling compound, carefully spread it over the floor and left me with full instructions for the following 24 hours.

I got Blf 1 to check the calculation for floor tiles (which I had already bought), and he sent me off on Tuesday to buy some more because it looked very tight and would be fairly disastrous if they ran out. He also told me the story of a big job they had done which for some reason I couldn't quite follow had to be done from start to finish without a break. It had taken 31 hours, at the end of which Blf could barely function and was hallucinating. "They were very grateful," he said. "They put a very nice comment on my website."

The Blfs were gone by 9 a.m., after which I was instructed to wait until the levelling compound had set and then introduce a space heater which would allow all moisture to evaporate before they came again at a similar unspeakably early hour on Wednesday and finished the job. It was a good thing I had bought the extra tiles, because some of them were needed.

Electrician Ulf was well enough to come back on Thursday, and discovered that the hob had been wrongly specified in the plans so that it needed a 32A rather than the 13A supply that had been prepared for it. He managed to run a new cable without having to tunnel through the fresh plaster but it could have been very much more disruptive. I was also delighted to welcome not only Ulf but Sons of Ulf too for a final reunion to finish the stairs, the skirting, door architraves, and rebuild a bit of the garden that had been destroyed. They even put up the airer in the utility although one of the pulleys had completely seized, and generally behaved very generously in doing things that weren't strictly their job. And, with perfect timing, they finished the biscuits.

The kitchen Ylfs have been the least satisfactory of all the tradesmen, some of which was not their fault, but in several respects was simply poorly executed. They made no allowance for the thickness of flooring when fitting plinths so the dishwasher door won't open, the cupboard layout in the utility room makes it all but impossible to reach the stopcock, and the hob specification error was down to Ylf as well. I will be feeding this back to them in the New Year, and I assume they will be coming back to finish up when the replacement parts arrive.

So it's all done just in time for Christmas, except for those few missing pieces of the kitchen installation. Operating the ovens seems extremely complicated, but I have done some grilling (fish fingers) and used the hob (it boils water very quickly indeed). The task of washing everything before it can find a new place in the kitchen is continuing slowly. I only have one casserole dish and one large frying pan that are suitable for the new hob, so buying saucepans will probably be my first task for the New Year. Now I'm off to celebrate Christmas and then do some walking over the New Year. I wonder which LTRP project I shall take on in 2018?

December 2017

Week ten

Düsseldorf, November 2017

It's so nearly finished! This was the second kitchen installation week, when all the worktop shaping took place. The worktops are made from an acrylic material, and shaping them involves grinding the unwanted material into fine dust resembling talcum powder, which floats oh so gently throughout the entire house, coating all that it touches with a white scum. Despite this, the worktops look great.

In fact there was no dust generation on Monday when there was too much snow for Team Ylf  to get here. Ulf, however, was on a new job that couldn't progress very much in the snow, so he came round and finished some of the loose ends relating to the stairs - filling in the holes in the parquet and fixing skirting boards.

Ilf came round as well, because there's lots for him to do and I wanted to book him for the New Year. He made some useful comments as well as admiring the job, and all being well he'll be doing some painting and varnishing in February.

Back came Team Ylf on Tuesday, and I'd had time to think about the draining board over the weekend. I had been so specific about the design of the draining board that to some extent it dictated the type of material we used for the worktops. Apparently, having draining board areas on both sides of the sink is so unusual as to be barely achievable, but they did it. The only problem was that while the surfaces were angled as I wanted so that water would drain into the sink, they were totally smooth where I was expecting grooves. Again, I had no idea that allowing the water to drain along grooves into your sink was something that had to be specified in particular. Team Ylf were informed of my outlandish request, and returned with a template and router and made it so. Then I realised that the other sink in the utility room has no draining board at all, smooth or otherwise.

Week 9

Week 10

By Thursday all was completed except for some bits that had been damaged or mis-ordered and won't be with us until the New Year (one door, one handle, one sink waste pipe, one upstand and one sill), so I have another visit from Team Ylf to look forward to. I'm not sure I have the strength to request that a draining board is cut into the utility room worktop, but I've got to go back to the shop anyway, because of the telescopic rails for the oven. These were supplied but not fitted, and I can't work out how on earth to put them in. I tried using YouTube but even the videos there weren't much help.

Although the work was completed, there was dust in every crevice. I've done a ridiculous amount of cleaning - not deep cleaning, it's true, but time consuming nevertheless - and then I'm gradually introducing kitchen gear into the new space. Everything that comes in also has to be washed because of the dust in the rest of the house, so I'm taking it slow. It's been harder than I expected to decide where to put things. I'm also having to think about starting to buy in new stuff that I need, like bar stools - the one in the pictures came from Freegle, and I rather like the splash of colour in its very neutral surroundings.

The electrical connections have not yet been made (because they need the appropriate safety certificate) so I haven't yet got a working hob, oven or dishwasher, and the microwave and fridge are still in the lounge together with the washing machine. But I can make tea in the kitchen and I had breakfast there for the first time on Friday.

Ninth week

Team Ylf

Ulf the Stairs

And on and on it goes. Not long now; all should be done by Christmas. And if it isn't, well, never mind. I've managed this long, I can last a few more days. Or weeks. Not months though. Definitely not months.

It isn't the lack of cooking facilities, actually. I haven't done badly for food, given that I'm also trying to eat as little as possible. Breakfast is easy - cereal most days, or scrambled egg done in the microwave when I have more time. Lunch - I've had microwaved fish with veg and rice several times, the stuffed pepper recipe is a keeper, I can do easy-cook pasta with pesto or tomato sauce, and soup from the freezer or bought. I've even had a sandwich once or twice. I'm trying not to eat much in the evening, which is easy when there's badminton or meditation or some other activity.

The main things I miss are the sink and washing machine. The bath works pretty well as a sink, and I've been to the launderette three times now, but the sink and washing machine are definitely what I miss.

Anyway, week nine brought more dust than ever, as the kitchen team got started on Tuesday. One door has been damaged and will have to be re-ordered, so that will delay final sign-off until after Christmas, but hopefully that will be the only delay. A lot of visible progress was made in the first two days, then nothing much seemed to change as Team Ylf attended to the detail - hanging doors, drawers, plinths, shaping the worktops. Having chosen all the components such a long time ago, it was nice to find that I am still pleased with my choices.

Week 8

Beginning of Week 9

End of Week 9

On Wednesday of the same week the stairs team arrived. I was at home for the destruction and removal of the old stairs, which caused much puzzlement as Ulf the Stairs tried to understand how it was constructed so that it could most easily be deconstructed. The top of the stairs was embedded between the ceiling and floor above! The bottom of the stairs was embedded in the floor! The metal strips holding the banister had to be ground off! But it was done, and then I had to go to work, and when I got back the new stairs were in place, and I am very pleased with them.

Before

During

After

The new stairs are narrower and steeper, and will be even more beautiful when they have been varnished. I took the polystyrene packaging to the tip myself, and Ulf kindly took most of the cardboard to a rugby club bonfire, and a skip was definitely not needed.

Weeks seven and eight

In this picture-tastic episode we conclude the main story of Ulf and his Henchmen, although Ulf will be back to finish a few things, then sign off the whole project and make sure the building inspector is happy. I shall miss them, with their tuneless singing and their drinks with two sugars. They have consumed more than a pound of sugar in eight weeks, not counting the biscuits.

Week 1

Start of week 6

End of week 6

Week 7

The theme of the last two weeks has been nice, smooth surfaces - the floor, walls and ceilings. It is starting to look like a real room. The floor so far has involved two layers of levelling compound followed by boards, and that is how it will stay until the last phase of the project when the floor man cometh. The walls and ceilings have been prepared and skimmed, and on week 7 day 4 the roof lantern finally arrived. I wasn't at work that day but they came so early that I missed the initial hoisting into place, which was a pity. Never mind; Ulf and Doors and Windows Ulf gave me a guided tour from the roof and posed for a photo.

Electrician Ulf made a welcome return and continued work on the wall sockets and various electrical necessities. The floorboards of the upstairs hall had to be taken up to route the electrics to the fuse box by the front door, the defunct burglar alarm was removed, and there is a mini fuse box in the utility room as well. Spotlights and other light fittings started to appear, and I came home from a weekend away to find that the doorway between the kitchen and the rest of the house had finally been opened - no more traipsing through the garden, although it means there is a much more straightforward route for the dust to permeate every corner of the house. Pictures show the scene from the living room side:

Week 5

Start of week 7

End of week 7

Week 8

Doors were delivered towards the end of week 7, and they look really nice but will need finishing with paint and/or varnish. The radiators were also put in by Plumber Ulf. An extractor fan appeared in the utility room, and an outside light with motion sensor - I must remember to ask about the other outside light fixed to the garage. The days that I came home and found the radiators were warm, and the electricity supply to the new kitchen had been turned on - those were good days. I also bought the floor tiles that should be laid after the kitchen is in.

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

I realised that if I move quickly and find some wall lights then they'll be put up by someone more proficient than me. Unfortunately despite hours of online searching and visits in person to at least three different stores I have failed to identify wall lights that I particularly like, so I've bought the cheapest adequate option, which will be fine. I have had a look at lampshades and all I have to decide now is the colour scheme, but I'll wait for the kitchen to go in before I go any further down that route.

The extra jobs that aren't 100% kitchen-related also got some attention. Ulf reckons that the damp in the wall in the living room is caused by naked hot and cold water pipes, so he got Plumber Ulf to cut them back and then re-plaster. Sons of Ulf finished the outside drains and put back the veranda roofing that had to be taken down while the kitchen roof went on. The only casualties of the works so far are one mug and one knife missing in action, and I think the doorbell is broken.

Start of week 1

End of week 1

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Ulf and Sons had surprisingly many vehicular experiences during the eight weeks - after the wind blew a board into a neighbour's car, another supplier's van door dented Ulf's van, which then had to go for repair and a replacement van was temporarily supplied. Without sufficient confidence in this van's security, my hallway served as equipment store for a week. Then Son of Ulf had a nasty experience when his windscreen was broken by hitting a black-clad cyclist with no lights or high-vis or helmet in the dark. His truck was briefly confiscated and he was badly shaken, but the cyclist is OK and so is he.

I have had a brief altercation with the kitchen company (Ylf's mum) who wanted to know where the skip should be delivered. I told them that the kitchen is empty and no skip is needed, but they thought that the packing material and any offcuts were worthy of the price of a skip. I had a chat with Ulf about it and he agreed with me, and I hope that is the end of it. Ulf told me that Ylf's mum had contacted him to see if the start date was still OK or if the work had overrun. When he said that it was all ready for them to start exactly as planned, she said that was a first in her experience.

I realise that I have failed to document the progress of biscuit consumption. There is a distinct periodicity; sometimes none are eaten, sometimes whole packets, and it doesn't seem to depend on how many mouths there are to feed. We'll see how the kitchen fitters compare.

Sons of Ulf