Square eyes

Jewish memorial, Dachau, December 2018

Many, many movies have been watched. On the weekend before Christmas Lola II and Mr M have a screening of a Christmas-themed movie, and this year it was Love Actually and I went all that way to see it. Then mostly on my wonderful huge TV screen at home: Leave No Trace, Bros: When the Screaming Stops, Swimming With Men, Phantom Thread, Bohemian Rhapsody (at the cinema), A Quiet Place, Hell or High Water and 20 Feet from Stardom. And some David Attenborough nature documentaries, both current and from long ago.

I've also worked out how to stream video from my mobile phone to the TV, so I watched the first episode of the American series Breaking Bad which Landrover Man loaded onto my phone, but when I tried to watch the second episode I couldn't take the unpleasantness of the content so I'm back looking for a quality episodic drama. All this screen time means I haven't done very much reading lately.

Something that has kept me hooked up to the computer is that I decided it was time to change all my passwords. While a specific app that encrypts and saves passwords would be the ideal solution, it's unlikely that I'd be able to use it at work, so I decided to do the job manually and it turns out that a) I have an awful lot of passwords, and b) it takes quite a lot of time to change them all. And it turns out that, annoyingly, some sites require you to have certain characters in your password, and some specifically forbid those characters. One site wouldn't even let me have a sequence of two numbers or two letters the same (e.g. 'gg' or '22'). I think I've very nearly finished them all, but this is a job that has to be 100% finished or I won't remember which ones I've changed and which I haven't.

Christmas and New Year came and went. I worked most of the time but also went to London because my cousin from Seattle was visiting with her son and other friends. I've been moving furniture around upstairs, but also in the Auditorium because of the carpet fitting. The carpet estimator came and was very helpful, so I have that to look forward to.

Actually there's quite a lot to look forward to - January and February are chock full of assignments, meetings, trips, visits as well as the usual badminton club nights and matches. The Buddhist group is running a four-week introductory course, and while they do that in the usual venue it was proposed that the regular members might meet somewhere else - so I offered my house. We've done this twice, and it has been rather lovely. I have also volunteered to join the committee that runs the group. I want to generate more social activity within this group, and hopefully promote its growth.

And a man came to service the boiler. The only reason I mention this is that he offered to check and bleed the radiators, and we discovered that the bedroom radiator essentially contained air rather than water, which neatly explains why it has been so cold in there. Very timely for the arrival of visitors this weekend, but reminds me how very obvious the solution to some problems are.

Not yet Christmas

Adhisthana, June 2018

Lots going on as usual. Here's a rundown of recent activity, not including trips to Parcelforce in Coventry and Christmas markets in Munich. Those will have to wait for another time.

LTRP

The new television is up and working! I had to phone a friend to help me lift it onto the table, and after I'd connected it all up it didn't seem to want to find the Internet or the sound bar. So, ostrich-like, I left it alone to see if it cured itself. I did have a look at the manual and fixed the sound bar by changing where the cables plug in, and miraculously it found the Internet without any further intervention, so all is well at the moment. Let's hope it stays that way.

So with that little project completed I have visited a carpet supplier of national repute and a local shop to have a little look at my auditorium carpet options. I just want a plain dark grey carpet, which I thought would limit the choices a bit, but even so there were seventeen different carpet options in the big shop which seem to be suitable, and no obvious way to choose between them. There is a free sample service so I asked for four samples to be sent, and we'll see how I get on. The local shop suggested just one option, which seems just as unsatisfactory.

Work

I went to an evening meeting about Pancreatic Exocrine Insufficiency, which wasn't very useful but there was a nice dinner and I sat next to a very chatty doctor. Diabetes is a disorder of the pancreatic endocrine system (insulin is an endocrine hormone), but the pancreas also produces enzymes as part of its exocrine activity. These are primarily lipase, amylase and protease to digest fat, starch and protein, and it seems that this function often fails in people with diabetes. Essentially the treatment of PEI is Pancreatic Enzyme Replacement Therapy, i.e. swallowing large capsules of enzymes along with meals and snacks so that they replace the enzymes that the pancreas is no longer producing. The main lecture was about symptoms and diagnosis rather than management, so I now know how prevalent it is in people with diabetes, but no more about what to do about it.

My Team Leader was also there, and she brought me up to speed on what is going on with the DESMOND Type 2 education programme in our region. I mentioned previously that the Clinical Commissioning Group is getting very 'hands-on' with DESMOND, and it seems that courses have a very poor attendance rate and keep getting cancelled in the main area covered by the NHS Trust I work for. Apparently the Trust's Clinical Director for Diabetes (who is also Clinical Director for another couple of specialities) had a very uncomfortable meeting with people from the CCG. I don't have a great deal of time for our Clinical Director because he seems to show no interest whatsoever in directing clinicians, clinics or anything else that is clinical, so this was a very interesting move on the part of the CCG. I don't know whether anything will come of it, but it's testament to my new Team Leader's dogged persistence that this meeting even came about.

Talking of the CCG and education: I had to attend one of the CCG's regular meetings about education for people with diabetes in order to present the results of my evaluation of our short Carbs and Insulin course, which we're calling CANDI (see what we did there?) This was one of the last times I had an idea at work before I became determined to have no more ideas, and it has resulted in a lot of work for me but not much progress. The results show that the people who attended got a lot out of it subjectively, but objective measures don't show much improvement. I then compared the objective measures of CANDI with those from a similar population who attended the longer 4-day carb counting course, and those were no better. What happens next is anyone's guess, but now that we have our tenacious Team Leader I suppose she will have to decide, so I've put it on the agenda for our next team meeting. Which is the day after Boxing Day when I will have even less than my usual motivation to talk about matters at work.

Badminton

Matches and club nights continue twice a week, My duties as Social Secretary led me to try and arrange a 'Not Christmas Social' in November so that we wouldn't get caught up in all the pre-Christmas shenanigans. I offered various dates so we could include the maximum number of people, and Friday 30th November was chosen. Unfortunately in the chosen venue, this night was already designated as a pre-Christmas shenanigan, so the event became the 'Not Not Christmas Social' and fourteen people came along and enjoyed themselves at a local pub. I had the best vegetarian option I think I've ever had in a pub (a pie with mash and veg).

and the rest

I can't remember exactly how it came about, but Lola II was interviewed for a project focussing on views and opinions and thoughts on childlessness from people who have consciously chosen not to have children. She passed the contact on to me, and this week I was also interviewed. It was very interesting and I'm still mulling over some of the things we discussed.

I went to see mum and dad and this time mum had a great job for me to do. Often the jobs I am called upon to perform involve either the computer or a ladder (there were jobs of those varieties on this visit too), but this time it was all about the sewing machine. As well as using the zigzag option to sew hems in shortened sleeves, we took down the kitchen blinds and shortened them by about a foot, cutting off the dirtiest part and revealing fresh fabric. It all went very well and they look great and it felt like we had really achieved something.

There have obviously been other activities at home and at work, but having ended the weight management effort my weight has obviously gone up by a kilogram. I knew it would because I haven't been feeling hungry lately and there have been celebratory meals and food provided during work events (which always leads me to overeat). Now what shall I do?

Kitchen Goddess and Mega Marshal

Run Forest Run, November 2018

My last trip to London combined a study day for work, staying with Lola II and Mr M, and a gathering for mum's birthday. I'm writing about the study day separately, and because it's taking ages and I've been rather busy, I'll do a quick round of other news in this post.

Mum's birthday gathering was slightly marred by Lola II losing her handbag, but the story ended happily when it was handed in without loss. The following day I accompanied Lola II and Mr M to a Games Cafe in Richmond where we tried out three new games: Quirkle, Exploding Kittens, and Sushi Go! We liked Quirkle best.

Between then and now I had a busy week with the usual work, a District Council meeting on Monday evening, a car mini-service, chimney sweep visit and meditation on Tuesday, a trip to Birmingham on Wednesday evening, badminton club on Thursday evening and a match on Friday evening (we lost, but it was good fun with friendly opposition, which isn't always the case).

The Council meeting was about the proposed replacement of a decaying car park combined with the relocation of elderly Council offices. Many local businesses are dismayed at the 'parking displacement plan' and feel that shoppers will be put off by a potential reduction in car parking spaces in the town. Residents are also up in arms at the loss of 42 mature trees (although more saplings will be planted in their place) plus the failure of their planning proposal to follow the Council's own guidelines of including 40% affordable housing. By attending the meeting I achieved my aim of understanding what all the fuss is about while being depressed by the poor standard of debate and the attitudes and arrogance of the Council leader and officers.

The trip to Birmingham was much more fun: I went to a meeting of 'Skeptics in the Pub' at which The Angry Chef was speaking. As the name suggests he is a chef, and I have been following and been hugely entertained by his profanity-filled blog for some time. He writes very eloquently and at length about the rubbish that is promoted by celebrities and others aimed at telling people how and what to eat, or 'nutribollocks' as he terms it. I enjoyed the meeting a great deal - he talks a lot of sense backed up by proper levels of evidence, and I bought his book and he signed it for me.

This weekend was the fifth annual 'Run, Forest, Run' event in Surrey, where this year there were more runners than ever. Lola II and Mr M were marshalling out in the forest along with J from Family JJL&J, and another two J's actually did the 10k plus obstacle course. I was again put in charge of the kitchen, and apart from running out of bacon and teabags it all went very well. I was very proud to be awarded the 'Mega Marshal' trophy for services rendered to mass catering.

Weight loss has stalled, but it has remained 4kg below what it started at (rather than the 5kg I was aiming for), so I'm going to take that as a win. Nothing new with the LTRP except that I briefly went into a carpet shop and now I need to decide who to invite to estimate for the job and whether to choose wool or synthetic fibre (any opinions from readers would be very welcome).

The television saga continues - the price of the TV I am after did drop to a level where I was happy to buy, but by the time I got to the website in a secure WiFi zone there were no more in stock. Stock suddenly appeared a week or so later, but the website claimed that delivery was not possible to my postcode, and when I followed that up with the retailer we agreed that there was actually no stock and it was a website error. However, I guessed that the American phenomenon of Black Friday might influence prices, and so it did. The television appeared on the website at an even lower price on Thursday evening, I placed an order successfully, and all being well it will be delivered today.

Screening Room

Düsseldorf, November 2017

I spent the weekend in London with dad, while mum and Lola II went off to see an interesting museum that involved an overnight stay. One of the jobs I was planning was to surprise Lola II by finishing the dress that is so long overdue. Despite having brought the sewing machine and even doing a quick sewing job for mum before she left, when I sat down to get started on Lola II's dress the machine refused to behave and kept dropping stitches and being generally uncooperative. So I had to pack that in, and instead I spent far too long going through all the films showing at the San Sebastian Film Festival where I shall be in less than two weeks - and there are A LOT OF FILMS. I thought I'd watch a nice movie on Saturday night so I brought my two rented DVDs with me. Unfortunately, I had changed my rental settings back when the old TV died, and the DVDs I'd brought were actually Blu-Ray discs and wouldn't play. On Sunday Sister D visited for lunch, Lola II and mum returned with cake for me, I drove home and that was the end of the weekend.

Ilf has been at Lola Towers on and off for a week or two, working on the Screening Room / Entertainment Room / Auditorium (I haven't decided on the final name). He has taken up the parquet floor in preparation for carpeting, painted the walls, ceiling and woodwork, fixed the blinds and put up curtain tracks. I have bought blackout curtains, and made two cushions - I didn't like the idea of a curtain or blind for the round window, but the recess is quite deep so I had the idea of putting a cushion each side to block out the light when necessary. I bought some cheap cushion fillers on Amazon but they weren't dense or large enough, so I cut up my very old sleeping bag and made some very decent cushions. I am very pleased with the outcome.

Round window from the outside

My large screen woes continue - the company agreed to refund the cost of the unavailable television, but shortly afterwards sent me a message saying that they were in dispute with the company that manages credit card payments and refunds on their behalf. They directed me to instigate 'chargeback' procedures with my credit card company, which I did, and the money was returned successfully.

Meanwhile, I have been keeping an eye on prices at Currys, and it has been most interesting. Currys often advertises 'save £100's' on specific items, and shows the previous history of the price for that item. It is clear that they set a high price for a period of time in order to be able to quote this historical price when they reduce the item to make it into a bargain. When I first looked, the particular television I'd now quite like to get was £200 more than the original one I bought. The price then went up a further £300, and has now dropped by £350. But my £20 secondhand TV is doing just fine for the time being.

Team meeting and Festival

Festival campsite, August 2018

At work we had a team meeting for the Diabetes Dietitians where the Dietetic Manager came to tell us all about the Outpatient Project that she's in charge of implementing. I like the DM a lot - for example she introduced patients Bob, Bobina and Bobetta to illustrate various points. Anyway, this Outpatient Project involves reviewing and re-classifying every one of our many outpatient clinics in order to be able to assess our capacity and understand exactly who we are seeing, how long they wait for an appointment, how long their appointments are, how many times we see them, what we do if they don't attend, and much more. There are a few niggles that still need sorting out which are a bit too technical and boring to describe here.

The rest of the meeting without the DM was just as complicated, as our new Team Leader tries very hard to understand how things have ended up as they have, and impose some sort of discipline and order onto the amorphous mess. It is even possible, if she is tenacious enough, that she may get to the bottom of the conundrum about how my post is funded and how exactly I should handle various complex administrative situations. Again, too technical and boring to go into here.

The day before the meeting, as is traditional, I checked the previous meeting's minutes to see if I had been given anything to do. I noticed that I had been asked to find out whether the doctors where I work have any official referral criteria to describe who they will and won't see. I asked the most amenable of the four doctors who work here, and he said that he didn't, but if he were to write some then his guidance to GPs would be "No stupid referrals." When pressed, he elaborated that a referred patient should have diabetes, and that the GP should have done something about it before referring them. Good enough for me. I wasn't asked for this information at the meeting, thankfully.

Then came the Bank Holiday weekend in which I went to the Shrewsbury Folk Festival. This was my second year there, and I have to admit it wasn't as good as the first, but that was down to a) the wet and windy weather, b) no Oysterband this year, and c) my failure to pack any bedding. After I'd arrived and put up the tent I realised that I'd brought no sleep mat, sleeping bag or duvet. So I went home again and fetched them.

This ruined my plan for a lazy Friday to include a walk into Shrewsbury for lunch at the sushi place I found last year, but actually only postponed the plan until Saturday, when the weather was fairly nice. The rain came with a vengeance on Sunday, but with a watertight tent and all the sound stages under cover it wasn't much of a problem. Highlights this year were all the female singers - The Fitzgeralds, Gretchen Peters, Edwina Hayes, Miranda Sykes with Show of Hands and Maddy Prior with Steeleye Span. What voices they have! I was too tired to see the end of the Steeleye Span set, but lying down in my tent I could hear the strains of the classic "All Around My Hat" with full audience participation.

Back home after the festival weekend and Ilf arrived at his usual crack of dawn next day to make a start on the decoration of the Screening Room. There is still no sign of a screen for the screening room - my TV woes continue, and the second scheduled delivery of a replacement television was also cancelled by the selling company. They refused to speak on the phone and were only willing to converse by email, so I lost confidence in them, withdrew my order and am now awaiting my full refund. Shortly afterwards I set up a profile on the Shpock platform with a view to selling the old sofabed mattress, but then on a whim I bought a temporary replacement TV for £20 so at least I can watch DVDs. When I have the strength, I will go back to the large TV project. And sell the mattress.

On the subject of selling, regular readers may remember that I was all enthusiastic after checking out my local car boot sale. You may also have noticed that the summer is over and I haven't done anything more about it.

Morris Dancers in Shrewsbury - and no, I have no idea why

First world problems

I do love poppies. Here's an orange and purple one.

We finally had some rain - thunderous, torrential rain - but very short lived. I was enjoying a brief respite from the oppressive heat in the new kitchen, where I spend much of my time these days, when the rain started - indoors, under the new roof light. A bucket was deployed, a text message sent to Ulf the builder, and the following day Doors and Windows Ulf attended in my absence and left me a written account of the issue. His view is that conditions were abnormal and the strong wind forced rain to travel upwards and under the cap; he has added some sealant or other such obstacle to prevent it happening again.

What I was doing when the indoor precipitation occurred was in relation to my television, which you may remember was purchased in April. Since then I had required support from the manufacturer, which runs a highly effective telephone support service, and which had repaired my TV remotely over the Internet three times - the third requiring me to install a software update from a USB stick that was sent through the post. Each of those three times the problem had been fixed, but I did query at what point would it be regarded as unacceptable for me to be phoning the helpline every time I wished to watch TV? I got no joy from the manufacturer - it was more than 28 days since the purchase, they wouldn't consider replacing it while they continued to fix it.

One Friday, however, I was watching a program on BBC iPlayer, and it just switched itself off and refused to turn on again. This time the support line couldn't help via remote control, but diagnosed a cable failure and proposed sending me a new cable through the post. At this point I got back in touch with the retailer, described my experience, and they acknowledged that it was time to offer me a replacement TV. Except that the TV I originally bought is no longer sold, so I would have to choose a comparable one. Off I went to the shop on Saturday morning, followed by more time on the website, and found that there was no comparable TV within the parameters that were set. I had another discussion with the retailer.

This left me with the option to take a lower specification television which cost the same as I paid, or a comparable specification television for £380 more, of which they would contribute £130. I did a bit of online scouting about, and found that I could get an ex-display model of the exact same TV as I had originally bought, for £200 less than I paid, but from an unfamiliar retailer. The only thing to do was to consult various people (step up Lola II, Mr M and the Decision Assistance Helpline - 'Your difficulties are our business') and also seek advice from the iPod of Fortune.

Need a decision handled with precision? Don't make a fuss, just call us! 

They all gave very good advice except IoF which seemed to have become confused with a different conversation we were simultaneously having about a trip to Israel (IoF's advice was 'Jerusalem').

On Thursday, then, I started by phoning the unfamiliar retailer to see if they really exist, answer the phone etc. Their website had a real location and phone number and I couldn't find any obvious scam opportunities, and although they only answer the phone betwen 11am and 4pm they confirmed the availability of the stock showing on their website. So I plucked up the courage to phone the original retailer again, who confirmed that they couldn't improve on their offer. We agreed on a refund. I went straight back to the unfamiliar retailer's website to order the TV I wanted, at which point I discovered a) although that morning there appeared to be four in stock none was now available, b) actually, all the televisions on their website had disappeared and b) they have a lunch break between 1 and 2pm when they also don't answer the phone.

This is where a spot of meditation can come in quite handy. Phoning back after 2pm I discovered that the website was being updated and the television section should be back tomorrow. The person on the phone couldn't tell me anything specifically about the availability of the item I was after. So I spent an uneasy evening trying not to think about it.

Next morning, as described, the website was back, televisions were still in stock, and... the price had been reduced by another £100! So I ordered one. And waited. And no email came, and at the weekend I tried to log into my account to see the progress of the order, and it didn't recognise my email address. One step forward, one step back. On Monday I phoned them again, and I had indeed made a stupid mistake with my email address, so we corrected that and we are now discussing delivery - they won't even guarantee a day, let alone a time.

I'm spending the difference in price on a washing machine. I've even ordered it at last. I'm hoping that this will be the end of my first world consumer issues for the time being.

BMI update - as predicted, the two weeks of holidays sent my weight drifting up a little bit (but nowhere near previous levels), and then I managed to get it going back in the right direction. Latest BMI is 23.9 kg/m². Back on track. I can't remember what dark chocolate tastes like any more. The next challenge will be to decide exactly how much to relax the regime, assuming I reach my target. At the moment I am certain that I will go back to semi-skimmed milk instead of skimmed, but no idea about anything else that I am currently denying myself.

Tuesday

Spain, November 2016

It's getting ridiculous how I spend my Tuesday off running around like a mad thing Getting Stuff Done rather than enjoying some time to myself with a book and a cup of tea. Not that there aren't plentiful cups of tea, but usually accompanying at least one other activity. Unlike Saturdays, when I try to have at least a bit of a break.

Last Tuesday felt particularly hectic:

• Set the alarm to wake up, because...
• Dropped the car off for an oil change and service, highlighting problem with tracking and/or steering
• Bought some milk and posted a letter on the way home
• Cooked mushroom and egg on toast for breakfast (this is a treat for a day off)
• Made four lunches for the rest of the week from interesting buckwheat pasta bought on holiday
• Contacted AEG customer support to enquire about certain operations of new microwave oven - did it over the web but should have phoned because response has not been forthcoming
• Phoned chimney sweeps and then realised this would have to wait because...
• Planning how to buy ski boots and this is more urgent than chimney sweeping
• Arranged to meet friend in Birmingham for lunch (less urgent than ski boots)
• Ordered ski helmet for collection at the weekend
• Lunch consisting of leftover soup and salads
• Garage called to inform me that one tyre was damaged to the point that I was fortunate it hadn't exploded
• Three more phone calls for various enquiries and appointments
• Started writing blog about insulin pump training day
• Cleared utility room ready for disassembly of cupboard in order to enable fitting of stopcock push-button valve
• Changed keysafe combination for kitchen fitters (I have a different combination when I'm expecting tradesmen)
• Scheduled future plans for replacing bathroom radiator
• Shopped for plastic tubs on the way to collect the car
• Came home and organised more kitchen stuff into new plastic tubs
• Drove to B&Q to buy a shelf for the kitchen
• Drove on to work in order to attend meeting for patients on insulin pumps who are not achieving their aims, but the time had been changed so I missed the first two hours
• Drove on to meditation with Buddhists. We are looking at the archetypes who comprise the Mandala of the Five Buddhas, and to be honest the discussion is not doing much for me, but the meditation is good and it's nice to have company for some of the day.

Not every Tuesday is this busy, but most of them are. I used to wonder how I managed to work full time, but I must have done all this stuff at the weekends. Since that Tuesday I've had a whole week followed by another Tuesday. Plumber Ulf came to sort out the stop tap business and while he was here he changed my bathroom taps and pipes so that it now takes less than a day to fill the bath. There's been badminton, I collected the ski helmet, and I've also done a lot of floor waxing and polishing so the living room is lethal when wearing socks. And at the weekend the soul of the television was stolen with a quiet 'pop' and faint smell of burning. It was about 15 years old, so fair enough.

In between all this I've still been going to work, but there's very little new to report on that front. Patients continue to be interesting but impossible to write about, I enjoy delivering the group education as well as the one-to-one consultations, but I'm always happy to go home at the end of the day.

Hair today

Krakow Botanical Gardens, July 2016

It's been a long time since I sat down to write, and I was wondering why. I'm pretty sure it's because of an HBO television series called 'The Newsroom', which I started renting from LoveFilm because it is written by Aaron Sorkin, who also wrote the best TV I have ever watched ('The West Wing'). The Newsroom is not as good as The West Wing, but it is a very close second, and I bought the DVDs and have been rewatching the first series before even going on to series 2. Each episode is about 45 minutes, which I would otherwise spend noodling on the laptop, hence the lack of blogging. I could be watching an episode now, that's the sacrifice I'm making.

Recent activity: weeks ago I visited Lola II and Mr M for a weekend, my colleague left work and we had a night out to celebrate and commiserate, I had a large percentage of my hair cut off, I had a long meeting with the builder who's going to manage my kitchen renovation, there was an election, and I went to work and badminton and meditation in the usual way. We also did some meditation in the park as our contribution to Buddhist Action Month. BAM! "Don't just do something, sit there!"

While I was visiting Lola II and Mr M we went to a performance of 'Roller Diner' in London's Soho, and it was rather good, although it took a while for me to get comfortable with the style of it. I haven't been to the theatre for quite a long time, and our seats were right at the front so not much distance between me and the actors. Despite my assertion that being called 'Roller Diner' meant that there was bound to be roller skating in it, there wasn't. I didn't mind being wrong on this occasion, because there was plenty to keep me interested. Based on this experience I wouldn't mind going to the theatre again.

We also went to a Street Food event at Alexandra Palace and then a lovely long walk on Sunday, and it was the Bank Holiday weekend so I even had Monday to get more done at home. There's still so much to do, although I'm gradually moving the old downstairs office upstairs, and emptying the kitchen into the old downstairs office and getting rid of whatever I don't use through Freegle, Nextdoor.com, Facebook Marketplace, eBay and the 'Household Waste Recycling Centre' (aka the local tip). Talking of eBay, the big philatelic project is nearing its conclusion with a total net profit of more than £250 as of today. I've finished selling the main postal mechanisation literature, and the very last bit is stamp booklets which is something new to me.

Then there was that general election as well. International politics at the moment feels like a particularly violent roller coaster ride with no option to get off. Just keep riding, and endure what's in store over the next political horizon - will it be a gentle bend or a vertical drop? I don't think there is the same sense of imminent catastrophe as there was at the height of the Cold War, just a sick feeling that our society is becoming ever more divisive and those holding political power have very little in common with either my way of thinking or of those who would disagree with me. Political thinking has never felt more like a gambling habit. I do often wonder how it will end.

Tired (again)

Somewhere in Rugby, May 2015

Usually I make a start on writing something vaguely interesting at the weekend, and finish it off ready to publish on a Tuesday. This week that hasn't happened, so I am putting this out without benefit of deep consideration or self-editing. I am tired.

This is my last month of full-time work. From October I am reverting to either 27 or 30 hours a week (I don't yet know which it will be - either way, not more than 4 days) and I am looking forward to it immensely. They are certainly getting value for money out of me this final month. An extra clinic has started, we are still short of one Dietitian who has left and a replacement not yet recruited, one of the remaining Dietitians is on holiday, but a new service is due to start shortly after she gets back and needs a load of preparation, which I'm not sure is being done. Two of the Diabetes Nurses are now off sick and another is about to have an operation on her foot that will keep her at home for six weeks.

On top of all that, a couple of weeks ago I committed the most heinous crime that it is possible to commit - I didn't turn up for a clinic which I was supposed to be covering. I got confused with where I was supposed to be and whose clinic I was standing in for. Luckily there were only three patients and apparently they didn't get too angry, although they were entitled to be cross because their previous appointments had been moved to this new date at short notice because one of the remaining Dietitians not previously off sick had been put out of action with a bad back, due to being made to work in a room with a coffee table instead of a desk (thankfully she's back at work now). I felt bad about missing that clinic for days. Actually, I still feel bad about it. I hope the feeling will wear off soon.

It's all been a bit much, and now that my age has exceeded the half-century I am starting to appreciate that I am no longer a bright young thing who can just pack as much as I like into my days. Playing badminton makes me much more tired than it ever did before - not that I'm about to stop playing, but I used to start early and finish late at club nights and now I'm much more inclined to start late and finish early. I am significantly tired the day after any vigorous activity, where in the past I wasn't. Of course as well as the badminton I'm doing the running that leads up to the event in November, so that makes for extra tiredness. Perhaps I'm overdoing things.

[Nostalgia note: When I was a child, my grandmother used to say that I was always overdoing things. "Do not overdo," is one of the few phrases I remember her saying, along with "Speak more slowly," the numbers in German and a rhyme that started "Hoppe hoppe Reiter" which I still remember word for word.]

This has turned into a bit of a whine - it's interesting what manifests itself when I sit with a blank screen and write whatever comes into my head. Things are fine. I am essentially fit and healthy and most of my complaining is about activity that I have chosen to do of my own free will and could stop at any time - in fact, I have missed a badminton opportunity tonight. I have completed some significant and difficult tasks and am optimistic that I will manage a few more by the end of the year. Work is essentially fine too, although there are and always will be annoyances and inefficiencies and personalities and conflict, as well as satisfaction and success and achievement and progress.

Outside work I've already mentioned badminton and running - there are also films on DVD, the usual reading in print and audio, food shopping and cooking, watching the one TV programme of the year that I like (The Great British Bake Off), cleaning the house, a massage, and welcoming Lola II and Mr M for the annual Leamington Food and Drink Festival. As usual I made sure I examined every stall in the arena over the two days of the Festival, and this year purchased three packs of sausages, a sachet of curry paste, a mushroom and garlic vegetarian Scotch Egg, three different cheese scones, a chocolate and cherry brownie, a Thai curry with cashew nuts and rice, and a pastrami and cheese toasted sandwich. I have already eaten all of them except one pack of sausages, but not necessarily in that order.

My ongoing plan for this evening is to go to sleep quite soon. I'm looking forward to recovering at the weekend before starting my penultimate week of full time work.

Two Lolas and a weekend

September 2014

Hello, Lola II here.

Every so often, Lola I comes over to help me do some of the jobbies that accumulate around the house. Last weekend I visited Lola Towers to return the favour.

Saturday

I’m having a lovely time at Lola Towers and I’ve only been here for 24 hours, there’s still another 15 to go!

I’ve been struggling a little to maintain the weight loss I achieved and so I gave Lola advance notice that I would need her help over the weekend. In return I received this proposed menu:

Friday night
Frittata + salad

Saturday
Breakfast = cereal or toast or poached egg
Lunch = game soup with matzah balls
Supper = stir fry (fish or chicken or turkey)

Sunday
Breakfast = egg + smoked salmon, or tomatoes if you'd rather, or cereal

How does that sound?
Lx

I responded that I was very happy with her suggestions and that I’d recommend her to my friends. I did note, however, that the absence of cake seemed odd. Visiting Lola, after all, is like a holiday and what kind of a holiday is it if you don’t have cake?

The courgette and bean frittata and salad were delicious, only slightly marred by the rancid salad dressing served with it (unfortunately just a touch older than Mother Nature intended when she invented oil...) This morning’s breakfast ended up being leftover frittata and salad and fresh dressing. Lunch? Add matzah balls to anything and I’ll wolf food down. Supper? Supper was absolutely was delicious and nice and filling, which is a crucial requirement to stop seconds and fridge picking later. The only addition was that we each bought a cake and shared them for dessert. Phew, it is a holiday after all.

Four out of five meals later, I must say it has felt very much like a detox retreat. Very healthy food, healthy portions, lots of filling vegetables and all cooked for me by Lovely Lola. It’s been lovely and I’m ready now for the treat of a delicious roast chicken lunch I’m expecting tomorrow, cooked by Mr M’s mummy at her place.

The primary goal for Saturday morning was to make a List. Not just any list, a Lola List. Lola’s lists are always clearly written, quite extensive and with items put in order of priority or timing. I think meals are added so that we can cross them off; I imagine she’s not really fearful of forgetting. My role when it comes to lists is to write things on them when Lola’s not looking - this time she got a star and a ‘very good’.

I’d say we got 90% of the planned jobbies done and even had time for a little sit down after lunch and a sing-song to help Lola practise for her Christmas Carol concert. Lola is singing alto so I had to sing soprano. Considering at one time I was thinking of singing tenor in a choir, singing at heights to shatter wine glasses had the unexpected result of me getting tooth ache! What’s that all about?? All I can think is that a nerve near my vocal chords area was affected by my unnatural exertions and transmitted its moaning message into my teeth, probably hoping for sympathy. Luckily all’s fine now and my career as an opera singer can continue on the same lines as it was before this traumatic experience.

The evening programme has so far been dictated by me. There’s a very good Doctor Who episode called Blink that I felt Lola I needed to see. I take my responsibility of ensuring she is kept up to date with popular culture very seriously. I mean if I don’t, who will? Who else will happily give an extensive blow-by-blow account of the latest doings and, to be frank, who else will Lola have the patience to listen to...  She might find herself in a pub quiz with success hinged upon getting one question right - “which Doctor Who character moves when you’re not looking at it?” My teachings could make the difference between team disaster and Lola being carried around on shoulders. She anticipated being scared by the episode and she was a bit. I think I helped by calling out that the people currently threatened with danger were going to be okay, although I was careful to clarify my point by adding that, well, they’re not going to be okay but they’ll be alright. Of course this didn’t really help Lola, other than distracting her for a moment from the TV tension.

We’re now sitting feet to feet on the sofa under a duvet, which always reminds me of the Grandpas and Grandmas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Tomorrow’s excitement is Carpet Cleaning. We have the machine, we have the cleaning fluid, who knows what excitement is lurking!

Sunday

Breakfast of a mushroom omelette for me, smoked salmon omelette for Lola, and then we were down to Operation Carpet Clean. Shifting furniture was the priority to allow for hoovering. Meanwhile I was desperately trying to finish a scarf I’ve been knitting for Lola for probably well over a year. I had knitted myself one that stretched and ended up long and narrow and so, very cleverly, I made this one wide and short. Not so clever, it seems, since upon completion it clearly wasn’t going to stretch. We had a jolly good giggle when I showed her the finished product. The good news is that my attractive pattern looked very nice. The less good news is that I had added stitches onto rows that resulted in an interesting variety of widths throughout. I enthusiastically announced that no-one else would have a scarf like it, and Lola confidently agreed.

Back to Operation Carpet Clean: the machine was ready, the cleaning fluid poured in, the ‘before’ photos taken, the tension was mounting, all that was needed was for the wondrous machine to be plugged in and... the plug was broken! Disaster. All of Lola’s hopes and dreams, shattered by someone who had previously either driven over it or discovered, after bending two of the prongs with their bare hands, that they were better suited to be a strong man in a circus and kindly returned the machine to the shop before doing so. She told me afterwards that there was a lot of apologising and a refund, followed by a hastily scribbled note insisting that Lola should be given a discount when she does finally hire one that works. Other than Operation Carpet Clean having to be postponed, it’s been a really lovely weekend with the two Lolas together, as it always is.

And the roast dinner? As delicious as expected.

Cutting out the commute

Berlin, March 2013

There's been change at Lola Towers, in as much as I'm not at Lola Towers at the moment. I have found a room in a shared house which is just three miles from work, and I'm staying here for four nights a week, travelling up on Monday morning and back on Friday afternoon.

The quest for accommodation was not without its difficulties. Rather than traditional letting agents or small ads, I used the Interwebnets option. Landlords upload vacancies, potential tenants get in touch electronically, details are confirmed, viewings take place, negotiations follow and an agreement either emerges or it doesn't. I went through the cycle just twice - I was being fairly selective, and there are a lot of shared student houses in this city with two large universities very near to the hospital where I work. I didn't want to find myself in a house sharing with teenage students who are getting up just when I'm going to bed.

On Sunday I moved into a small single room in a house shared with two young professionals who seem to spend the majority of their spare time watching TV together. I am not a natural TV watcher, although for the sake of sociability I did join them on Sunday night for one awful hour of a British magician accosting holidaymakers in Las Vegas and foisting his magic tricks on them. I don't deny that the magic tricks were good, but while I watched I had the feeling of my life trickling down some plughole. The sociability was confined to commenting on the programme - we haven't yet had a proper conversation beyond "How was your day?" - and after a while I fired up the laptop and confined my attention to my online life. It's not so much more constructive than TV, but makes me feel more like an active participant in life.

The commute time to work by car is about 20 minutes - 15 minutes on one short stretch of road between the house and the first roundabout, and about 5 minutes for the rest of the journey. You will deduce that this equates to an average of 9 miles per hour, which is not much of a rate. My plan is to resuscitate my bicycle, which has been languishing at home, and is probably in a state of decay. The hospital has a very well-publicised 'Health and Wellbeing' team including a great deal of support for cycling, so I fired off an email to enquire about cycle storage and showering options. The response was that the person responsible is on holiday until 22 July, so I'd have to cycle quite slowly until then.

I have already been in touch with three different individuals regarding playing badminton, of whom just one replied. I went along to their club on Monday, and it was busy and very hot, but friendly and a similar standard to my usual clubs, whom I have now abandoned with some sadness. During the summer they play only once a week, but starting in September it should be twice a week, which is what I'm looking for. As I want to exercise twice a week (and spend as much time out of the house as possible), I'm trying to think of alternatives for another night of the week.

The cost of the accommodation including bills is about the same as the fuel I was using to commute, and other expenses will remain about the same, so I don't expect to be worse off financially than I was before. Of course there is weekday separation from Mr A, but we have methods of communication, and I gain sleep undisturbed by snoring while he gains life undisturbed by nagging. We'll see how it works out, and in the meantime my Team Leader has mentioned that discussions will soon take place over whether my contract will be extended or not.

Festive seasoning

Thank you, Judging Covers!

The run-up to Christmas has been in turn stressful, enjoyable, frustrating and, at last, relaxing.

At work, there's been a lot to do, and fewer people than usual to do it. Last week was busy, and I was working with a student, which made it quite difficult to keep track of what had and hadn't been done, and what needed doing next. I was out on Tuesday at a study day (more about this in a future post), then on Thursday my clinic was relatively quiet, allowing me to enjoy a social Christmas lunch in the canteen. It was proposed as a leaving party for me and a colleague who is going on maternity leave, but my departure had become a little uncertain. I do now have a confirmed start date in the new job, towards the end of January, but both my current and future managers were fighting over me for a day or two! It was a little disconcerting, and not at all welcome.

I was at work yesterday (Monday), and was interested to find that nothing special was happening on the wards, although I spotted a tired-looking man in a Santa outfit reading some medical notes, who might have been one of the junior doctors. Otherwise, there were a few nurses wearing antlers or halos, but patients' stories today were so sad that it was difficult to spread any festive cheer, because who would choose to be in hospital over Christmas unless they were so unwell that they were forced to?

I'm told that some years there's very little to do in the hospital on Christmas Eve. That wasn't the case this year - there were more referrals than usual. We blitzed it in the morning, only to find that more had come in by lunchtime. Some were, frankly, taking the mickey, like the patient who just wanted a cooked breakfast, and another referred because they had been transferred from another hospital on supplements and the nurse didn't want them to become 'lost in the system'. An admirable sentiment, but not today. Diabetics struggling with blood sugar control and patients who had lost a bit too much weight had to give way to patients not able to swallow who needed tube feeding or textured diet and thickened fluids.

I am having nearly two weeks off work, so I also need to ensure all the information about my current patients and their priorities is made available to the Dietitians who'll be looking after my caseload while I'm away. I feel lucky that I was only 30 minutes late leaving the hospital after work.

At home, the build-up to Christmas has been steady, with some notable highlights. We thought we would like to spend our TV watching points on a tablet PC, so we went to review the options at the only high street electronics retailer that allows our points to be converted to vouchers. The experience was underwhelming, but never mind, we ordered the vouchers and returned to the shop at the weekend - the last weekend before Christmas. We were prepared for crowds, but there were none - neither were there any shop assistants. When we finally found one, and indicated what we'd like to buy, we were told: "There aren't any. We're sold out."

On the weekend before Christmas? The busiest shopping weekend there's likely to be in the year? Not only were they sold out, they refused to accept our money against an advance order, because this is impossible if there are no products in the warehouse, or some other nonsense. So we took our vouchers home, and thought about it.

A similar high street electronics retailer has recently gone bust. If this large retailer is unable to take our money at this critical time of year, we were very reluctant to hang on to the vouchers, which would turn to dust should the retailer join its close competitor in liquidation. So we considered our options.

Mr A's mother is now in a nursing home, and his dad asked our advice on a basic DVD player that she could have. Our DVD player is a suitable one, so we thought we would give her that one and upgrade our own system - but we had more money in vouchers than the cost of a new and better DVD player.

I've never had a printer of my own, and although I've been able to connect to Mr A's printer some of the time, his setup changes so frequently that mostly I have to go up and ask him to print stuff for me (or print personal things at work). So as well as the DVD player, I now have a lovely all-in-one printer and scanner - and there was some money left for a new toner cartridge for Mr A's printer too.

Unfortunately, now that we've had time to look at installing the new DVD player, our TV is such an ancient model that the all-powerful new DVD player doesn't have the ancient connectors that are needed to connect it up. Mr A has spent some time looking at various options, including buying a new TV, but we're most likely to buy just a SCART-HDMI converter and wait until the ancient TV breaks down before replacing it.

Lastly, I know it's a little vulgar to boast about one's Christmas presents, but... I WON ANOTHER BLOG PRIZE! On one of the book review blogs I read, a prize of 12 books for Christmas was on offer. I thought twice about entering, because despite reading every post on the blog, very few books that they review are ones that I think I might read. But I entered anyway, and not long ago a very large box arrived containing my prize. I put it under the Christmas camera-tree to await the big day, and this morning Mr A and I opened it, only to find that the wonderful people at Judging Covers had wrapped each book individually!

I'm looking forward to a completely different type of reading for a few weeks - much less weighty than my usual selections. And in the New Year I'll be driving far more miles every week, so I might at last start to get through more audio books in the car. Happy holidays to everyone, and lots of good reading for 2013!