Swollen and bruised

Munich, December 2019

The main thing that is preoccupying my thoughts is the stupid front door. Despite Ilf's attentions it swelled up again so I had a go at shaving some more off - there won't be much door left once it gets dry again. Having had enough of this game I gave Doors and Windows Ulf a call and he came round to talk about replacing it with one that a) won't swell b) won't need repainting c) will fit better and reduce drafts and d) will be more secure. So I know a bit more about different types of door than I did before (timber, uPVC and composite) but have still received no quote at the time of writing.

The same swelling problem has happened to the timber side gate, so the new Lady Gardener had a bit of trouble with that. Yes, I've got a new Lady Gardener! She spent two hours weeding and while she was working I finished the brick border and we talked about how she's not a teacher any more, and what I should do about my herbs. I think it will go well.

And the eighth Gulloebl Film Festival took place and was a success as ever, although I had a bit of a problem with some of the films on Saturday, which were Blades of Glory (not my kind of humour), The Apartment (a classic movie which is unfortunately so full of sexism, misogyny and let's call it 'an old-fashioned view of a woman's place in the workplace and relationships' with just a touch of racism at the end that I didn't enjoy it as much as I should if I had ignored all those things and just imagined myself back in 1960), and Sexy Beast (which made me so tense that my jaw ached). All the other films were lovely, though, with my favourite (aside from my all time favourite Marvellous) being The Sting.

On Wednesday I had a Ladies badminton match, and Thursday night was a match for the Mixed team, and before it even started while I was warming up I tripped and had an enormous comedy fall, bouncing off the wall and landing on my side. I was fine apart from a grazed knuckle and a huge bruise on my hip. I'm glad I'm still tough enough to bounce rather than break. And we won both matches, so I suppose it was worth it.

Music, building and film festivals

Olf's Sidekick, July 2019

Hasn't it been a long time? A long and quite tiring time, but mostly a good time.

I have been to a music festival of psy-trance, techno, glitch-hop, drum 'n bass and other impenetrable genres of music mainly featuring repetitive beats. Except the dubstep, which we wandered into at random, and my friend 'whispered' (i.e. shouted over the volume of music) in my ear "We have accidentally entered the Dubstep Zone." At which point we wandered away again - the first time I have encountered modern music that I physically could not dance to. And there was camping, and it only rained a tiny little bit, and I enjoyed it.

In LTRP news, Ilf spent a couple of weeks making good, priming and painting the freshly plastered walls, leaving the door and window frames and skirting still to do. This week Olf and his Sidekick have started to replace what I call the 'veranda', for want of a better term. Dictionary definition: "A platform with an open front and a roof, built onto the side of a house on the ground floor." So not far off, except it isn't really a platform, just the path along the side of the house with a covering roof. Anyway, they are replacing it, along with doing a few other external maintenance jobs while they're here. The LTRP is going really well. I don't know what I'll do when it's finished (except it will NEVER BE FINISHED).

And (cue trumpet fanfare) - the inaugural Gulloebl Film Festival (Random Chairs in a Darkened Room) in Leamington has taken place! The Lola Towers Auditorium performed spectacularly well despite the lack of preparation, and Lola II and Mr M seemed impressed enough to allow the franchise to continue. To be fair, they played a key part in the event going well, as I literally couldn't have done it without them. It was actually very poorly attended, which took much of the pressure off and gave me time to have much needed power naps which I might not have managed if we'd been running at full capacity. Highlight for me: the opening night and the film Marvellous which is uplifting and funny and tragic and I strongly encourage everyone to see it.

Ilf, July 2019

Local news

La Plagne, March 2019

• The living room, stairs and upstairs hall walls have been stripped of their paper, and a little of their plaster too, especially the ceiling. The signs of a previous door out to the garden from the living room have been revealed, which is only very slightly interesting.
• Ulf has come to quote for the plaster skimming, and also to have a look at a couple of other issues with the kitchen build - a crack has appeared in the old brickwork adjacent to the new build, and there is a strange patch of what looks like moisture but isn't on an external wall or at ground level. A week later - not heard back from him yet.
• With the wall all stripped down, I realised that it would be the perfect opportunity to adjust the lights, switches and sockets in the room, so I got back in touch with Bill the electrician. No response for a week, then I followed up by phone, and still nothing definite.
• Olf lost the measurements he made a few weeks ago so had to come back again so he can quote for some outside work. A week later - still no quote.
• I have been inoculated or boosted against diphtheria, tetanus, polio, hepatitis A, typhoid and yellow fever. Not all at once. The yellow fever one was nasty - my arm still hurts nearly a week later and it cost £60, but I do get a nice certificate.
• The bandstand in the pump room gardens is back, after a considerable time (more than a year) being renovated. It's been repainted in strange pastel colours.
• My favourite shop in Leamington, Clarke's greengrocer, has now closed for good. There has been a longstanding pattern of my very favourite shops in town being closed - if this continues then Wofon will be next, or Kayal (but I go to Wofon much more than Kayal).
• I registered a complaint with Santander bank, which contacted me about a potentially fraudulent transaction but didn't make it clear that it wasn't on my account but one for which I have power of attorney. This caused no end of hassle both to me and to the account holder with frozen accounts, declined payments, a bounced cheque and a very extended visit to a branch. The final outcome is positive with compensation for both of us. They said they would take notice of my suggestions for how the system could be improved - all they would have to do would be make clear that I had been contacted as the attorney rather than the main account holder. Seems simple, but everything I have ever heard about how banks manage powers of attorney suggests that nothing will change. At least I won't make that mistake again.
• The molar that had been becoming increasingly troublesome forced me to the dentist in the face of the upcoming trip where dental issues would be highly inconvenient. After examination and X-ray the dentist came back wearing 'very sad face' (he's normally very jolly), to tell me that it was time for extraction. I told him to cheer up because at this point I couldn't be rid of it soon enough. He did a great job; it didn't hurt at the time or since, I completed my 3 days of regular salt water mouthwash (much worse than the extraction) and waited for it to heal a bit more so I could get stuck into all the chewy food I had given up on. I should have stocked up on trifle, but eggs, well-cooked pasta and soup sustained me very well. I ate a lovely crunchy apple yesterday!
• Films watched recently:
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - a poor title for a great movie with Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock and a very talented young actor, Thomas Horn.
• Whitney - after I'd watched this recent documentary I found a slightly older documentary on BBC iPlayer (Can I Be Me?) so I watched that as well. Tragic story of the rise and fall of such a talented woman.
• Three Identical Strangers - a fascinating documentary from Channel 4, some of it predictable I suppose, but each revelation on top of the previous one increased my outrage.
• Miss Sloane - a film recommended by Landrover Man, and it was very good. So complicated that I'd probably have to watch it again to make sure I picked up on all the twists, but I find that the sign of a good film.
• My printer is Not Very Well. It remains to be seen whether its condition is terminal, but I don't have the strength to tackle it just at the moment, and I'll have to use the work printer for critical things if necessary. However, Buddhists, badminton players, work colleagues, friends and family are all Alive as far as I'm aware.

Week off

Auditorium, February 2019

I often joke that I work harder on my day off than I do at work. This has been the literal truth this week, when I have knuckled down to do jobs that have been waiting some time for my attention, and it occupied so much of the week that I only managed to see three films. Here are a selection of the 'highlights'.

LTRP

The carpet fitters were due on Monday, so on Sunday I moved all the furniture out that hadn't already been moved and took up the remaining remnants of carpet and underlay, cutting them up to make it easier to shift them. This was much harder work and took much longer than I was expecting.

Monday: carpet time! for the Auditorium and upstairs hall. The two fitters arrived as scheduled and the work went without a hitch, although as anticipated they had to take the door off because it needs shaving a little off the bottom to go over the carpet. We had a useful discussion about how to manage the join at the top of the stairs and access to the cellar trapdoor in the Auditorium, they cleaned up after themselves and I made some brownies for them.

I'd been wondering for a while how difficult it was to make vegan cake, so I got a brownie recipe off the Vegan Society website and had a go. I had to make several substitutions - golden caster sugar for brown sugar, black treacle for golden syrup and ground almonds for desiccated coconut, but it was dead easy, quick, and tasted fine.

The carpet fitters also helped me move the enormous TV back into the Auditorium - I could do the rest myself, except for the piano. The carpet looks and feels absolutely wonderful, but no time to admire it on Monday night - straight out to badminton.

No time to admire the carpet on Tuesday either because I'd got in touch with Olf the builder - he who took on the garage, the first job of the LTRP, so long ago. He came round first thing to talk about various outside jobs - paving, pointing, rendering, brickwork and the 'verandah' - the sloping roof attached to the garden side of the house, which has started to disintegrate. We spent an hour going round assessing what's needed and I'm now waiting for his estimate.

Badminton

Apart from the usual club night and a match, there was a badminton Chinese meal social event. I love a Chinese meal as a group because you simply can't have a decent selection of dishes when there's just one of you. The match: we lost, and it included a game that my partner and I agreed was the worst we'd ever played.

Shopping

I planned on doing a load of 'shopping in person' (as opposed to online) on Thursday, and I succeeded in buying a suitcase (my first!), ski socks, casters for the sofabad (now that it's standing on carpet), a protective cover for my tablet, and the binding of two carpet offcuts so they can be used as mats to cover the trapdoor to the cellar in the Auditorium. While I was out in town, as usual I found a reason to visit the greengrocer, only to discover that he was planning to close the shop in only a few weeks' time. This is indeed tragic news.

Friday was for online jobs. I made some progress towards buying a widget that will connect my hosepipe to the external tap, hoover bags and pull rings for the trapdoor. I still have to attack the holiday insurance and the energy supplier, but the biggest job of all that has been hanging over me since last July is my big trip to Brazil. If I'd known how much work it would entail I might have thought twice.

I've spent hours on this, and so has the travel agent, but it is now settled. I made a quick dash to the doctor's surgery to fill in the form about travel health and vaccinations which acquired a sense of urgency when I realised there are only seven weeks to go, along with a realisation that I have to put in my request for leave for work because they can get very shirty if lead times are less than six weeks, especially if patients' appointments have to be moved.

Buddhists

Tuesday was the usual meditation group. In my absence the introductory course had attracted twelve newcomers, of whom five returned this week - almost as many as the old timers. They benefited from the brownies that the carpet fitters left.

Earlier that day I had visited the school where I play badminton on Mondays to look at hiring one of their rooms for the Buddhist group, and here is where I admit that I have been co-opted onto the Committee, despite my resolution not to get too involved in the organisation. The trouble is that the group was dwindling - although many people are associated with it, attendance at Tuesday meetings was down to an average of six, which isn't enough to meet the cost of the hall if everyone gave the suggested donation. Anyway, all involved in the Committee are very glad to have fresh blood, and I am drawing upon my advanced skills acquired in organising social events for the badminton club in order to organise social events for the Buddhists, as well as offering my house as an alternative meditation location.

The first social event was tea and cake in a cafe on Saturday afternoon. Despite my advanced organising skills the event attracted only myself, the other social organiser with whom I'm sharing the job, his wife (who isn't part of the practising group), and another couple of committee members and their four year old son. Not a huge success, and it seems likely that there are far fewer people than I hoped who are interested in the social aspect of the group. Our second social event is going to be a walk, so we'll see how we get on with that.

And the rest

Off up the horrible M6 I went on Wednesday to visit lovely H+B, where I was royally treated to lunch and cake as well as reading some of H's recent forays into creative writing, which were all very good, rather entertaining, and as his group has commented, 'clever'. A bit too clever for me; H had to accompany me on one particular piece to explain all the jokes (I think I got about two thirds of them on my own). Would anyone else know that Prior Art is a reason not to award a patent? Or recognise a line from the poem 'La Belle Dame Sans Merci'?

Films: due to the large amount of admin and other activities I hardly had time for the film-fest that a whole week off work at home should have produced. I did manage to get to the cinema to watch the Oscar-nominated film Green Book about a black pianist touring the Deep South of America in the 1950s, and I watched The Commune on iPlayer - a Danish film set in the 1970s about a bunch of people who decide to cohabit in a large house one of them has inherited. The last film was from my DVD subscription: Journey's End - a first world war story that was originally a play, ending as most first world war stories do.

And to complete the account of almost everything I did for a week, there was also the first music group of the year, which was a little disappointing as I'm not that keen on the choice of music this time, or the arrangement. My fellow baritone sax player, however, is very pleased at the simpler arrangement - he is an improviser and struggled with all the notes in previous arrangements.

Square eyes

Jewish memorial, Dachau, December 2018

Many, many movies have been watched. On the weekend before Christmas Lola II and Mr M have a screening of a Christmas-themed movie, and this year it was Love Actually and I went all that way to see it. Then mostly on my wonderful huge TV screen at home: Leave No Trace, Bros: When the Screaming Stops, Swimming With Men, Phantom Thread, Bohemian Rhapsody (at the cinema), A Quiet Place, Hell or High Water and 20 Feet from Stardom. And some David Attenborough nature documentaries, both current and from long ago.

I've also worked out how to stream video from my mobile phone to the TV, so I watched the first episode of the American series Breaking Bad which Landrover Man loaded onto my phone, but when I tried to watch the second episode I couldn't take the unpleasantness of the content so I'm back looking for a quality episodic drama. All this screen time means I haven't done very much reading lately.

Something that has kept me hooked up to the computer is that I decided it was time to change all my passwords. While a specific app that encrypts and saves passwords would be the ideal solution, it's unlikely that I'd be able to use it at work, so I decided to do the job manually and it turns out that a) I have an awful lot of passwords, and b) it takes quite a lot of time to change them all. And it turns out that, annoyingly, some sites require you to have certain characters in your password, and some specifically forbid those characters. One site wouldn't even let me have a sequence of two numbers or two letters the same (e.g. 'gg' or '22'). I think I've very nearly finished them all, but this is a job that has to be 100% finished or I won't remember which ones I've changed and which I haven't.

Christmas and New Year came and went. I worked most of the time but also went to London because my cousin from Seattle was visiting with her son and other friends. I've been moving furniture around upstairs, but also in the Auditorium because of the carpet fitting. The carpet estimator came and was very helpful, so I have that to look forward to.

Actually there's quite a lot to look forward to - January and February are chock full of assignments, meetings, trips, visits as well as the usual badminton club nights and matches. The Buddhist group is running a four-week introductory course, and while they do that in the usual venue it was proposed that the regular members might meet somewhere else - so I offered my house. We've done this twice, and it has been rather lovely. I have also volunteered to join the committee that runs the group. I want to generate more social activity within this group, and hopefully promote its growth.

And a man came to service the boiler. The only reason I mention this is that he offered to check and bleed the radiators, and we discovered that the bedroom radiator essentially contained air rather than water, which neatly explains why it has been so cold in there. Very timely for the arrival of visitors this weekend, but reminds me how very obvious the solution to some problems are.

Spanish holiday part 3: San Sebastian

San Sebastian, September 2018 (photo by Mr M)

So we arrived at our apartment in San Sebastian after descending from Monte Igueldo by funicular and then taking a bus across town. The International Film Festival that provided the motive for the holiday was in full swing, with red carpets and crowd barriers galore. Our apartment was out of town at the end of Zurriola surfing beach, and it was comfortable, despite having windows in only two rooms with a view of a cement wall. That evening we dined on pintxos at three different establishments, in the Spanish fashion.

We established an interesting dietary regime of three meals: Brunch, Cake, and Supper. J put up some resistance to this routine, saying he didn't usually eat much for breakfast and wasn't really a cake person, but by the end of our stay we caught him perusing the patisserie counter in a fashion very reminiscent of any Lola.

We had booked four films for our three-day stay, and I think they were good choices. Two were on the culinary theme - the first was translated as 'A God in Every Lentil' but contained no discernible gods or lentils. It was Spanish and broadly about a chef who went home to his family to help in their restaurant, but the film started very strangely with a sequence that appeared to show the death and burial of a baby, which was never referred to again. The thought of lentils inspired us, however, and the next evening in our apartment we cooked up a wonderful home made lentil and chorizo stew (the rest of the time we simply ate pintxos and cake). The other culinary film was a documentary about female chefs in the US, Canada, France and the UK. I decided that I really wouldn't want to eat a meal where the food had been placed on the plate with tweezers, no matter how good it tasted.

The other two films were more conventional fiction - a Norwegian one called 'Blind Spot' which was filmed as if in one continuous take, always from the point of view of one of the protagonists. So if one person had a ten minute car journey (and they did, twice), you spent ten minutes with them in the car. It shouldn't have worked, but it did. The highlight of our festival, however, was a Lebanese film called 'Capernaum', at which we were also invited to cast a vote between 1 and 10 towards the 'audience choice' award at the festival. The film scored a resounding 10 from all of us - it dramatised the life of a child trying to survive among illegal immigrants without papers. The only criticism I had was that it did so by proposing that the child was suing his parents for bringing him into the world, which seemed to strike a false note within what was otherwise a tremendous film.

When not watching films we were tourists. We took a boat trip out to an island, we climbed the hill to the statue of Jesus overlooking the city and visited the museum up there, we walked along the sea front and watched the surf and the surfers and we had a look inside the cathedral. We popped paracetamol against the lurgy and dosed ourselves with regular cake and cafe descafeinado. We became obsessed with a sign on the beach that we could not interpret among the signs prohibiting various anti-social activities. [Lola II tried to follow this up with the authorities, although if it turns out to be prohibiting something that we were guilty of, I hope that we will not be saddled with any consequences. She tells me that the trail has grown cold - they have not responded.]

On the whole, we didn't interact with many strangers, whether natives or other tourists. A notable exception was one evening when at a pintxos bar we made friends with a couple from Australia at the next table. They were on a European tour culminating in a 100-year memorial of a particular battle in France in World War One during which an ancestor had been killed. Our conversation was interrupted frequently by waiters and food service, but our friendship was sealed by the foie gras pintxos (referred to by our Australian lady friend as 'foy') which was the single best item of food I ate during the week, among many great food items within a great holiday.

A long and tedious post about modern audiovisual technology

October 2017

Since the visit from Mr and Mrs MXF and the Revelation of what technology is capable of, I am now experiencing it in real life.

Before The Revelation

Broadband brings the internet to Lola Towers along wires as far as the router, and from there onwards we have wifi, which nowadays forms the backbone linking everything together. Some of my gadgets were already making use of the wifi - the laptop I'm typing on, the tablet I mainly used to play my chosen radio programmes on BBC iPlayer, and my phone.

In contrast, my old iPod has to hook up to the laptop to suck up all my music, podcasts and audiobooks through a wire. I can listen to the iPod through earphones, but I also have a speaker for it in the kitchen. I love the iPod because its battery lasts for ever, and it fits in my pocket, and as well as listening on the kitchen speaker I can plug it into the car stereo and listen to my music and podcasts and audiobooks, and it remembers what I've listened to and starts up exactly where I stopped, and it holds every single CD and audiobook I've ever bought and is still very much less than half full. But neither the iPod nor its speaker is wifi enabled, and neither was the television, and neither is my ancient hifi system in the living room which can play records, CDs, analogue radio and cassettes (except I found out last week it can't play cassettes any more).

Then the television expired, and it was time to think about what the modern world can offer. I'm not actually interested in broadcast TV - the few programmes that interest me might be available via the Internet, and I don't care if they aren't. What I wanted in the kitchen and living room was the option to play audio directly from the Internet as well as all the stuff I've bought over the years, and I wanted a new television in my future 'Screening Room' where I hope to stage the Gulloebl Film Festival (Midlands franchise).

After The Revelation:

1. Spotify - brilliant
2. Chromecast Audio - not a success so far
3. What you can do with a television these days - amazing
4. Sound bar - magic
5. Wifi extender - does what it says on the tin
6. What's next?

1. Spotify

Spotify is an Internet repository for all the music in the world. Actually, as I have delved deeper I have discovered some of the more obscure music that I have acquired over the years is not to be found in Spotify, but 99.9% of all the music in the world is there. Using the phone app or the web player I can play individual tracks and albums, and create playlists of my own or listen to those compiled by other people. If I want, Spotify will play me music that it thinks I will like based on my previous choices, and so far it has been broadly correct in its assumptions. And all of this can be sucked off the Internet to my wifi-enabled speaker of choice, for free if I'm prepared to listen to a 30-second advert every half an hour or for a monthly subscription if not. I don't have to own any of the music to listen to it as long as my speakers can hook up to the Internet via wifi. I may never have to buy music ever again. I hope the artists get a cut from Spotify or we will have no more musicians able to make a living.

2. Chromecast Audio

I bought a gadget from Google whose function is 'Chromecast Audio'. When plugged into the old kitchen speaker and configured via a website it connected the speaker to my wifi, so I could play anything from Spotify on my kitchen speaker. Unfortunately the ancient living room hifi didn't have a spare line-in socket, although now I plan to investigate whether I can make use of the line-in socket so recently vacated by the cassette player. Then (see below) I installed a wifi extender and the kitchen speaker option disappeared. Then I switched broadband supplier and eventually I bullied it into appearing on the network but I can't use it as a speaker. To be honest I almost lost the will to live with the Chromecast Audio and ended up actually shouting at it and then I broke the tablet by hitting it in frustration. So I'll save that problem for later.

3. Television

Television used to be delivered by a broadcaster via an analogue aerial plugged into the back of a large cathode ray tube that allowed you to watch what they chose to broadcast at the time they chose to broadcast it. Then the number of channels increased dramatically, satellite and cable transmission options were introduced, everything went digital, and now you can watch all sorts of things any time you like within certain constraints. Despite all this flexibility, or perhaps because of it, I stopped watching television programmes some time ago. But I carried on using my old cathode ray tube to watch DVDs until it died.

Mr MXF helped me choose a suitable TV which arrived a couple of weeks ago. It is enormous, but weighs less than the set that it replaces. The most interesting thing I have realised is that the fundamental function of a television in the 'olden days' (to watch television programmes as they are broadcast) is the only function that I can no longer use it for, because it isn't connected to an aerial, satellite dish or cable. My new 65-inch television screen is, in reality, a huge but stupid computer screen without a keyboard. It connects to my wifi and will play music from Spotify as well as television programmes and other stuff streamed from the Internet, most of the time. There are still a few things I haven't managed to stream, such as BBC radio.

Many people don't even use a DVD player any more because they watch films streamed or downloaded from the Internet, but I am still using the DVD subscription service because they have the films I want and Netflix and Amazon don't. But this new television will play Blu-Ray and Ultra High Definition movies, which Mr MXF wholeheartedly endorses. My DVD player can cope with Blu-Ray, but I'd need a new one for UHD. Due to 'heritage' issues I haven't yet watched a Blu-Ray film, but one should arrive pretty soon.

4. Sound bar

This is a bit of kit that hooks up to the TV and/or wifi to produce directional sound, i.e. makes your ears think there is sound coming from all around. It comes with a nice sub-woofer for super bass noise too. I got it for films really, and it will sit in front of the TV most of the time, but I've also tried it out separately in the living room for streamed music (e.g. Spotify) and it works OK as long as the music is actually being picked up by the TV and sent to the sound bar via an HDMI cable or wifi. It's just a bit of a nuisance having to carry the bar and speaker from room to room.

5. Wifi extender

While Mr and Mrs MXF were here it became clearer that the kitchen is a bit far from the router and the wifi signal was quite weak. The gadget to fix this plugs into an ordinary power socket and boosts the signal, and should be as straightforward as that, but it seemed to disrupt the connection to the Chromecast Audio gadget until the new broadband came into play, and maybe it doesn't now. More investigation is needed. But the kitchen wifi signal is now excellent.

6. What's next?

So now I have a super huge high definition screen, great sound from DVDs or streamed from the Internet on the TV in the Screening Room, or in the living room if I physically move the sound bar and sub-woofer (which aren't intended to be portable), and the old hi-fi in the living room to listen to CDs (and analogue radio and vinyl but not digital radio or cassettes). I'm still able to use the iPod for music, podcasts and audiobooks but only on the kitchen speaker. It would be nice to be able to listen to all those things through the sound bar, but it looks as though I need one more item to connect my laptop to the TV (an HDMI to DVI cable). Then I could think about either trying to link the old hifi to the Chromecast Audio gadget so I can play digital sounds through my old amp, or I could get new wifi speakers.

But first, I really ought to finish the kitchen. Just the tiling left to do.

February

Seville, November 2016

Another successful Gulloebl Film Festival has taken place chez Lola II and Mr M, with the usual high quality films and hospitality. My favourites this time: Grosse Point Blank (which was much more funny than I remember), and Best in Show (which was just as funny as I remember). My contribution was to drive mum and dad over to join in - the first time they have been to the house for quite a long time.

Meanwhile, the LRTP continues with Ilf varnishing stairs and kitchen doors and painting kitchen skirting, walls and ceiling. It all looks beautiful. I have, at last, felt able to just sit and read a book for an hour or two without the nagging feeling that I should be doing something. Of course there are still plenty of things I should be doing, but at least I can relax some of the time.

I have made an investment in buying a ski helmet and ski boots. The procedure for fitting the boots included measurements, a certain amount of trial and error, and experimenting with different manufacturers. Sadly the ones that fitted best were plain black and white rather than the blue and electric pink ones with furry lining. The inners were softened by heating and moulded to the shape of my feet. I've been wearing them around the house with rags tied around the bottom to protect my lovely floors, and the fit seems perfect. I'll be trying them out in the field next week on my second ski trip of the year.

The main thing bothering me at themoment is entirelymyown fault. In a distracted state I looked at my laptop keyboard and wasmildly dismayed at its filthycondition. So Iremoved the space bar and did a fair amount of cleaning witha small paint brush. Canyou see what has happened since then?

Random Chairs in a Darkened Room V

Spain, November 2016

Lola II and Mr M staged the fifth annual Gulloebl film festival (subtitled 'Random Chairs in a Darkened Room) last weekend. Invited guests had the opportunity to watch up to eight films over the weekend, and this time there was a theme: all of the films featured Alan Rickman, who died last year. I watched seven of the eight films, and it reaffirmed for me what a talented actor and a delight to watch he was.

Due to the number of visitors like myself travelling to attend the festival and needing accommodation, I was allocated to sleep in the annexe. This took the form of a tent in the garden, which was pretty snug with duvet, blanket, hot water bottle and socks. I like camping but this was probably the first time I have camped in February.

My favourite of the seven films I watched was Dogma (1999), the most mainstream of director Kevin Smith's films. I've seen most of this director's previous work, starting with Clerks, and enjoyed most of them. Dogma features Ben Affleck and Matt Damon as well as Alan Rickman, and the Catholic Church is the cast member referenced by the title. I was expecting this to be my favourite film of the weekend, and it didn't disappoint.

Second best was Snow Cake (2006) which starred Sigourney Weaver and Carrie-Anne Moss. I'd seen it before and I knew I'd liked it, although I couldn't remember any details. A man gives a lift to a young woman who is killed in a terrible road accident. The man (played by Alan Rickman) feels compelled to make his way to the young woman's mother, who turns out to have autism, and the story covers just the few days he spends with her. It's touching, poignant, thought-provoking and occasionally funny.

Galaxy Quest (1999) has appeared in a previous film festival, but I could watch it every year. At the end my cheeks hurt from grinning, and the rich source of quotations from the film is a boon in many situations (Never give up, never surrender!) Sigourney Weaver is in this one too, along with Tim Allen, (You are our laaaast hooope). And, of course, Alan Rickman (Give him a hand, he's British!)

My next favourite was Truly Madly Deeply (1990). I hadn't realised that it was written and directed by Anthony Minghella with Juliet Stevenson in mind (if IMDb is to be believed). The writing was beautiful, sad and funny in turn, even though Alan's moustache and Juliet's wardrobe were dreadful. Tissues were available at the screening, and there were plenty of muffled sniffles at the end.

I also love Sense and Sensibility (1995), not only for the wonderful Alan but also for the other quality performances from Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet. Hugh Grant was there too, but he was just playing himself as usual. Terrific writing, which won Oscars for Emma Thompson as the writer as well as Best Actress. Hugh Laurie deserves a notable mention for his delivery of some wonderful lines. Mrs Palmer: "No, I cannot believe it is that far, for you can see the place from the top of our hill. Is it really five and a half? No. I cannot believe it." Mr Palmer: "Try."

So five of the seven films receive my full approval; the remaining two that I watched were Die Hard (1988) with Bruce Willis, and Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) with every British actor ever. I hadn't seen Die Hard before but it is said to be a classic - I can see that it's quite good, but it's just not my kind of thing. I've read all the Harry Potter books and seen all the films, but the books are better and this first film spends a lot of its time setting up the series. The film I didn't watch in the festival line-up was Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves (1991) - I actually started watching it on DVD a few years ago, but stopped after about half an hour. So I wasn't keen to try again.

If it had been up to me to choose films featuring Alan Rickman I would have included A Little Chaos (2014) - Kate Winslet again, but also the incomparable Matthias Schoenaerts as well as the always reliable Stanley Tucci. Love Actually (2003) is another obvious choice with Emma and Hugh again, and I thought the recent Eye in the Sky (2015) with Helen Mirren was also very good indeed. But there are so many choices.

My ultimate plan is to be awarded the first Gulloebl Film Festival franchise and to stage my own version when my house is ready. Of course I'm already thinking of what I might include, and the selection this year has sparked many ideas - Matthias Schoenaerts leads me to Rust and Bone and Suite Francaise as well as A Little Chaos, there's Kevin Smith's Clerks, and perhaps more of Ben Affleck (maybe Argo?) and Matt Damon (maybe Invictus?) Favourite female actors who might feature include Toni Collette (Muriel's Wedding and I would say Little Miss Sunshine but that's been shown at the Gulloebl Film Festival before, then there are The Sixth Sense and About A Boy which are a bit too mainstream). I love watching Melissa McCarthy as well, who was lovely in The Heat with Sandra Bullock, Spy with Jude Law and St Vincent with Bill Murray. Lastly for the women, I'd watch anything with Alison Janney (Juno and American Beauty spring to mind). There are so many wonderful films in the world. I don't know how Lola II and Mr M manage to whittle their choices down to just eight a year.

As a form of apprenticeship in preparation for the franchise, I undertook several roles backstage including making popcorn and ice cream vendor, I received full and frank feedback when I neglected the popcorn due to being distracted by guests, and I was given short shrift and sent off to buy some proper cream when I tried to substitute Elmlea on the basis that Waitrose was closed and this was all the newsagent stocked. But I think with a bit more effort I might be trusted with the valued Gulloebl brand in a year or two.

The Gulloebl Chinema management team carried out my appraisal a week later, and I received the following feedback. Luckily for me they seem to have overlooked the popcorn and cream issues.

Year One Probation Appraisal

Trainee: Lola I
Role: Canine Corpus
Employment Status: Hopeful
Supervision Date: 23 rd February 2017

Duties and Comments

Popcorn making: Corn popped as required
Dishwasher loading: Dishwasher loaded
Ice cream vending: Needed supervision at first, but threw herself (and the ice creams) into delivery. However, forgot to collect any money. Losses to be taken from her wages. We are not Robin Hood (which Lola would know if she had watched the film)
Height: Adequate but not quite up to Lola II
Dietary knowledge: Generally excellent though struggles to identify portions of fruit if they are in jars
Prospects: Lola showed real potential and in a few years’ time, we fully expect her to be allowed to sleep in the house. We also envisage her being welcomed into heaven, when her time comes.

Post holiday lull

Wasdale, Lake District, December 2015

Since returning from the Lake District, I have been assiduously anointing my knee with miraculous liniment, which I picked up on a skiing holiday. Either it's working or the knee injury wasn't very bad (although it felt pretty bad at the time), because I'm descending stairs very successfully again, playing badminton and even running. So that's good news.

It also means that I'm back to thinking about another ski trip. I was describing my plans to one of the other Lake District holidaymakers, who commented that she had annual leave from work that she didn't know what to do with, so perhaps we could go skiing together? That sounded like a good idea, but unfortunately her knee is playing up now, so we'll see how things go. Being over 50 is no joke.

The disadvantage of the skiing plan is that the only practical week I can take off work coincides with the Fourth Annual Lola II and Mr M Film Festival. The schedule of films has been announced, so I have lined them all up in my DVD rental list and will watch them anyway.

I have been neglecting my blog duties, and although I've been doing a lot of things, absolutely none of them is interesting enough to feature here except that Lola II and Mr M visited last weekend, so there were some fun and games. We had a massage each, went out for delicious food, and on Sunday we created some new Chinema trailers for the film festival. Poor Lola II (and to a lesser extent, Mr M) suffered terribly in my cold house, but they have planted the seed of an idea that I will explore further for my planned new kitchen - underfloor heating.

Another Christmas party

Boston Harbour, June 2015

You may have noticed that I haven't been reading as many books as usual. This is, in part, due to two new podcasts which have taken the place of my regular audiobook listening, but also because I've been generally doing jobs that need doing or watching films on DVD instead of reading. The films I've seen in December have been rather good too: Mr Holmes (Ian McKellan as Sherlock Holmes is 93 and looking after bees), Amy (Amy Winehouse sings beautifully but is troubled and it doesn't end well), Key Largo (Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall act their socks off), London Road (a musical about the Ipswich prostitute murders, much better than it sounds), Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (humans vs apes and, like Amy, it doesn't end well), And When Did You Last See Your Father? (based on a book by the poet and author Blake Morrison about the death of his father with an absolutely stellar cast).

Aside from my DVD watching it is that time of year again, holidays are approaching and overpriced Christmas celebrations abound. Despite the opportunity to attend at least six of these due to being part of the Venn diagram of intersecting Dietitians, Diabetes teams, Hospitals and Badminton Clubs, I elected this year to attend just one event, with the Diabetes team in the hospital where I work. In fact I've also signed up for the Christmas event organised by badminton club #2 but this has been postponed until January, a strategy of which I thoroughly approve.

So, posh overpriced Christmas dinner event with the Diabetes team took place in a marquee to allow the upmarket venue to rake in even more money from punters determined to celebrate Christmas in the way that seems to have become compulsory - dinner, entertainment, disco. We had a local DJ running the entertainment part, which involved an element of competitiveness in order to win various prizes that I didn't want - but I know I am not the typical attendee. As usual, I wasn't drinking, which I have to admit spoils the fun a bit because I start to tire of pissed-up young women squealing in excitement and falling off their vertiginous heels. What a spoilsport I am, not wanting to spend the evening with the aim of consuming as much alcohol as is practically possible.

My abstinence also backfired when I was nominated as the 'Leader of the table'. The DJ/host invited each table to nominate their leader for unspecified duties at a later time, and I was unanimously elected, with the justification that my sobriety would enable us to win whatever prize was on offer without effort. One competition involved answering ten questions in a minute in order to win £1000, and my protests that I was a really poor choice for this kind of quiz went unheeded. In the event I wasn't chosen to compete, thank goodness. Most of the others on the table knew 8 or 9 of the answers even though they had quaffed a good deal of strong drink; I managed about 5 due to my complete ignorance of any music or TV or 'celebrities' that may have appeared since 1990. For goodness sake, I've only watched one TV programme in the last five years. The other duty of the 'Leader of the table' was to compete in a dance-off, and the less said about that the better. We didn't win anything.

My last complaint about the event (oh, how negative I am) was that the disco included only recent tunes. My preference is obviously for an era when they knew how to write catchy songs that are great for dancing, the obvious exceptions being Come On Eileen and anything that has actions associated with it (the Macarena, and that one where you sit down and pretend to be rowing etc). Where were the 80's hits? Even Abba would have been welcome. I did my best however, and the Lady Shoes left my feet suitably bruised and painful. So that's it for this year's festive dancing.

On a more positive note - I discovered that the computer system that mysteriously calculates annual leave days has clearly uncovered more goat entrails, because although I thought I had virtually no days left until March, in fact I have a bit more than a week! I am torn between the idea of having an extra week skiing (I already have a week booked late in the season) or concentrating on getting my house into a fit state for civilised habitation. Skiing or house? House or skiing? I have a feeling that skiing will win. Seize the day and all that, who knows how long I will be able to maintain this glorious level of fitness?

The scratch choir I joined has delivered its festive message to two churches and one hospital, and the clarinet group has also contributed to a lovely concert alongside flutes and saxophones led by our enthusiastic music director. I have also consumed one festive lunch at work, and at the time of writing there's one badminton match and a couple of quiet days at work remaining before all is suspended for the holidays, although Parkrun is still happening on Boxing Day and I'm intending to be there.

A very Happy Christmas to one and all.